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The Emotional Child Abuse Page

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Latest Emotional Child Abuse News

Sandra Forester: Emotional wounds of childhood abuse ... - Idaho Statesman

Be leery about leaving your child with someone who gives you or your child an uneasy feeling. If your child doesn't want to be left with an adult, pay attention. Believe your children If children say they've been abused, report it. Some parents and ...

Pope engulfed by wave of child sex abuse cases - The Guardian

The topic of child sexual abuse provokes strong emotions ... Graham Wilmer, who runs the Lantern Project which has helped hundreds of sexual abuse victims since 2003, said: "The psychological and emotional damage has affected them throughout their ...

Melrose mayor offers sexual abuse prevention training ... - Abington Mariner

She added that Darkness to Light also has compiled studies showing the financial repercussions of child sexual abuse in a community. “If they’re not moved by the emotional side [in the documentary], a lot of them are moved by the financial side ...

Survivors of abuse must be allowed speak freely - Irish Times

The depravity, violence, emotional and psychological abuse uncovered in the decade-long Child Abuse Commission Inquiry into residential institutions were inflicted on some of the weakest and most vulnerable members in society – isolated children ...

Stand Up for Our Children's Health America and Ban ... - Associated Content

Do you remember those candy stick cigarettes they use to have when you were a child? You know the type that looked like skeleton bones or even the ones that were gum and puffed out powder? Well they are still available Verbal and Emotional Abuse: How ...

Catholic Church Child Abuse Claims Sweep Across Europe - Huffingtonpost.com

From Ireland to Germany, Europe's many victims of child abuse in the Roman Catholic church are finally breaking ... Quinn noted that stories of systemic physical, sexual and emotional abuse circulated privately in Irish society for decades, but only ...

Child Abuse Scandal Reaches Catholic Church, Pope - NPR News

Catholic Church sex abuse scandals around the world - BBC Europe

Six months earlier, another report - the result of a nine-year investigation - documented some six decades of physical , sexual and emotional abuse at residential ... particular - has been embroiled in a series of child sex scandals. There was public ...

Cardinal Brady revelations underline need for Northern ... - Amnesty International UK

The revelations that Cardinal Brady was involved in a failure to notify the civil authorities of the serial child abuse of Northern ... thorough investigation into allegations of physical, sexual and emotional abuse in children's homes and other ...

Catholic church child abuse claims spread in Europe - Detroit News

Open Question: I thought self mutilation disqualified somebody for military service?

My bf is ex-army and I have a baby together and he wants to get married( I don't if I want that). He doesn't want his ex but he kisses her ass and acts like she is normal and wants to go into the army for normal reasons. Honestly, she isn't intelligent, pretty or kind and I have helped him take care of his children with her a lot(and I have an older child) and they have some serious emotional problems. She has expressed regret for leaving him but when he and I were completely uninvolved and they were living in Ft. Stewart she harassed me and smashed his cell phone to pieces, she destroyed other property with a hammer. He married her because she was pregnant, but then she hid an entire second preg from him and everybody including her twin and binge-drank alcohol (while they lived on base) and just popped out a secret vodka baby one day. She had sought no prenatal health care even though her first baby had been born via c-section. She also cheated on him with another soldier(even took out a secret loan for the guy and asked her husband to pay it). Yeah it is all bs. She has time and again expressed regrets from the past and the very little time she has the kids, she returns them filthy-recently not even brushing her daughter's hair even though she had lice. They actually like me but act traumatized over gettings baths for one thing. The 3 yr old slaps and bites herself over the smallest things. The 6 year old works herself into hysteria over small things.The only time she didn't physically abuse him(she has punched him in the face and called the Mps, wrapped a cord around his neck and called the Mps was the brief period she took prozac(not within the past year). I don't think I'll stick around much more. He acts like she wants to join the Army for some other reason than to be close to him. She completely uses the children to manipulate him and at the same, time acts very resentful about spending time with the children. She had a suicide attempt two years ago and had to be taken to the hospital to get her stomach pumped. Does the military often let suicidal candidates in? Should they really be training someone like that on a weapon? She leaves for boot camp in Missouri next month. She'll be working with Forklifts. I just feel bad for the kids-mine included. Sorry if you didn't like the story but it is what it is, just wondering. I don't think she is a responsible person but then again, I think she may be a danger and it would still be sad to me if something like boot camp further broke the psyche of someone so delicate, it could be further damaging to the children.Unfortunately, her husband never pressed charges even though the mps asked him.The recruiter pushed her through, she leaves for Basic April 26.The recruiter pushed her through, she leaves for Basic April 26.The recruiter pushed her through, she leaves for basic April 26, she did all her tests. more

Open Question: What can i do as a project? my topic is Child abuse?

I need some ideas on what I can do as a project to go along with my research paper. my topic is child abuse (physical, emotional, sexual and neglect)... My Teacher will not allow me to work with a child that has been abused, because of the personal issue. Any ideas will help thanks :) more

Resolved Question: Is it worthy of calling child welfare when the child has been infested with head lice multiple...?

...times?This poor kid has had head lice multiple times...Seems like she's had it every week to three weeks since school started. The school told me that they were ready to take action against the girls mother. I feel bad for the child. Her mother cares more about men than her daughter. I've tried to warn her that if she didn't straighten up, she would lose her child. She doesn't seem to care and she's even currently dating a man that threatened to kill her in front of her child! (that happened in October and they showed up at my parents home, the little girl an emotional wreck and begging me to let her stay with me) I'm very concerned about the welfare of this little girl. The parents of one of her friends has expressed similar concern and has thought about trying to get emergency custody of the girl. I feel like she's being emotionally abused. Should I call and report this? Will it be helpful or hurtful? more

Resolved Question: Why do people still think that it's okay to emotionally abuse children?

Why do people still think that it's okay to emotionally abuse, humiliate, and belittle children? And why do people think that emotional abuse isn't real abuse? Why don't you ask those serial killers and child molesters on death row and in jail if they think that "emotional abuse isn't real."why do people act like depression and sadness in children aren't a big deal? more

Open Question: My bf's ex-wife recently decide 2 join the Army, she is going 2 work w/Forklifts,did she not score well onMOS?

He is ex-army and she has severe emotional problems(including concealing the entire pregnancy of their second child, with no medical attention and binge drinking vodka when he was stationed at Ft. Stewart) and a suicide attempt less than two years ago. He told her to study for her test because it would effect her job and she didn't listen and just took it. He said she doesn't listen. She isn't very bright, nor is she attractive, nor is she nice and she is a neglectful mother-total shotgun wedding. For example, she spelled the word "absurd" o-b-s-e-r-e-d, on her Facebook profile, so there you have it. I know there are plenty of intelligent people in the Army but from what I can see time and again, she isn't going to be one of them. She is also very whiny and physically abused her husband on base. I have known this guy since the early 90s. I have helped out with the kids a lot, I feel bad for them-they have serious(6 and 3 years old) emotional problems, the second one looks like she has ARND. She leaves for Missouri next month-it was a spontaneous decision because she was messing around with a man leaving for Benning recently. She also doesn't tend to stick to anything.Actually thanks for the answer. Um, I have children and we may or may not be blending a family. There is nothing wrong with asking a question, it is not equal to going out of your way to damage somebody's chances in life. Child hood abuse and neglect is actually everybody's buisness-when people don't get involved children suffer. ARND, a lesser-form of Fetal Alchohol Syndrome is actually everybody's business because it involves permanent brain damage and costs the tax-payers more money. If you don't want to answer the question, then don't answer it, don't act ugly. Besides this woman has harassed me in the past and I have never done the same to her yet I can't speculate when the psyche of the children I help take care of is something I deal with? It's just a question, not a missive.Vic-Lol-you're funny.I had to only use so many characters for the ?, that is why I worded it that way. more

Resolved Question: Christians, I need a verse of Scripture from the Bible that addresses...?

...that addresses healing for those who have been physically and mentally abused by people they trust. So many adults are still trying to overcome the emotional scars left on them by abuses they suffered as children. Can you give me some verses from the Bible that would help them?? Thanks in advance for your help!As a nurse I understand the importance of secular counseling for victims of abuse. As a Christian I also understand the benefits of God's Word, prayer and Christian counseling. One does not exclude the other. Both are beneficial in many cases. more

Resolved Question: do abusive husbands ever regret ?

I have been reading this article on mental / emotional abuse and I have been abused by every definition of the word abuse. He always lied to me , blamed me for his wrong doings , ganged up on me with his mother & sister , never supported me financially , made me work like a donkey while I was pregnant and in the end left me and my new born. do such husbands ever regret putting their wives and children through so much ? do they behave nicely with their new wife ? do they go through same stages of after divorce effects as we women do ? I sometimes wonder how can anybody forget someone whom he has lived with and how can someone just forget about his own flesh & blood ? more

Open Question: Is a counselor in Tennessee mandated to report known domestic abuse if victim doesn't want it reported?

Is a counselor in Tennessee mandated to report known or suspected domestic violence when no children are involved and when the victim is an adult who does not want it reported? Especially if the abuse is more verbal than physical? (The relationship had some violence in the past...but there have been no episodes of that for over two years. It is solely emotional now...critical and threats.) If the victim were to speak of this to a counselor (whom they are seeing for PTSD due to a totally different situation), could there be any repercussions / reporting done? In Tennessee, you are in MORE danger if abuse is reported. They arrest the abuser and hold them for 12 hours. Then release them, more angry than ever. more

Resolved Question: why do i seek the approval of my father who hates me?

since i was 12 my father has hated me, now my sister is 13 n she is suffering the same way that i did. i see her try so hard but he just looks at her with disgust. i see how sad she is n the look of hurt when he is mean to her, i fear he is damaging her, she has no feelings of self worth.I am 23 n i still hold onto any shred of love i get from him then feel like a freak after for falling for his game. i know he cant change but i still try.he is a cold mean man who sees nothing but fault in me although i would be classed as successful. He has called me obese since childhood although i was never a fat child, he insults any gift i give him for christmas then calls me a bitch if i dont give him anything, he comes to my house for family dinners and insults the food i cook although i am an amazing cook n its my passion, he insults it cos he knows it will hurt, his snide remarks never stop, he said maybe the reason my ex partner attacked me one day n strangled me till i was out cold was because i brought it on myself, i was the perfect girlfriend n my ex partner had abused every gf before me it was later found.a father does not say such things, he has no emotional or fatherly bond at all towards me. when my mum wanted to help me move out while he was at work she had to fight with him to be able too. he wanted to leave me there.he took the side of my abuser instead of being my protector and said "maybe he was trying to beat some sense into you".i fear my distrust of him affects my current relationship. I am fearful of my partner although he has done nothing wrong.he tries to keep my mum all to himself n is jealous if she spends time with anyone but him. He went so far today as finding fault in the fact i made him a sandwich for lunch, his snide remark was "you probably just got your mother to do it dont lie" and "you forgot the pepper, how can i eat it now" although i have never lied before, he has no reason to hate me. He accuses me of breaking the cheek bone of my sister when i was 11, although there was never a break just a bruise when i was cleaning up her room n chucked a toy in the toybox next to her n got her. i didnt even see her there as i have awful eyesight n my glasses were being fixed at the optomitrist, it was a complete accident. why would i hurt my baby sister if i was cleaning up her room n decorating it as children do. but he still mentions it today. i love my sister and i dont want her being damaged goods like me. no one knows of our problems, we put the happy smile on n act like everything is ok but its not. i tried so hard to move away from this, meeting a man n moving overseas with him only to have him turn into an abuser. he blames me n says he thought he had finally gotten rid of meps patricia, i am 23. i do not live with my parents n i am not unemployed as was your assumption. i have not lived with my parents since i was 18 and i work fulltimehe has a bad relationship with his mum n dad, very cold stuck up ppl more

Open Question: Can I handle this emotional problem on my own?

(this is very personal sorry) When I was a child I had to go through a long process of being questioned more than once because they wanted to determine whether or not my dad had been abusing me (he had)(he's long-estranged btw). as a result, even when I tell the truth about something I feel guilty as though I'm lying. It's gotten worse over the years to the point where I'm now at 21 having problems even recognizing or fully feeling my own emotions. a voice (not a literal voice) gnaws at me and mocks every feeling I have as though I'm faking. something really sad happened last week and I can't cry and I can't even process it. I haven't remembered a single dream all week. please help. I've never told anyone about this (any of it even the abuse stuff.. never seen a psych) and though I hope to see a psychologist eventually I need coping help right now please.. more

Resolved Question: Are you for or against gay adoption? Why?

I am gay and against gay adoption. I do not think for one moment that gay people are inferior as naturally that would be hypocritical but gay people (as in two men and two women) cannot offer the same level of emotional stability and comfort as a straight couple (in my view!). The argument about "if you think gay people shouldn't adopt, then you must surely believe that single parents shouldn't adopt?" is surely ludicrous and unfounded. Think about it a single parent (as with a heterosexual couple) can provide a setting whereby a child is not i.e. bullied in school because of his/her parents relationship or love. In a homosexual family, the child will forever be asked "Is your Dad gay?", "do you find it weird that your Dad's gay?", "who do you call your Dad?" etc. They will also refrain from confiding in you for fear of upsetting with these comments and/or actions. They will simply realize that they do not want to hurt you with regards to any bullying that is going on whether in school or out. What about if gay men adopt a little girl, what if that little girl wants a Mommy and not two Daddies? Is it really fair to subject her to living with males and deprive her of a female companion? Sure there's Granny and Aunty Lil from down the road but what about when things happen spontaeneously like a period and she wants an immediate FEMALE response. What happens then? You can't just say "oh wait there love, I'll get Granny from Sivvy Street". I just don't think it's fair to adopt a child because YOU want one and bring him/her into OUR world knowing the abuse he/she will suffer inadvertantly/advertantly. Why would you want to subject a child to what we have been through? I am against it for those reasons. What about you?Jack, Sorry to reply directly to you but my arguments clearly stipulates that single parents CAN adopt and the reasons have been specified for the fact that the child will not be bullied in school for having a single father/mother but will for having two Dad's and they will feel unable to tell you for fear of hurting you. Sorry I thought I should mention that as I did say that contrary to what your post says.Also I strongly that if someone is for gay adoption because they feel that they went through and are going through a homophobic environment, then surely that's selfish and unfeeling.BooOo, Was there really a need to swear and name call? I do hope your not a parent if that is the sort of attitude you teach them. more

Resolved Question: Is it Time to Leave? 3 1/2 Years of Committment.?

My girlfriend and I have been together for 3 1/2 years. Things have taken a terrible, unexpected turn for the worse. Her mother just recently lost her job, house, 3 children, husband, her children's college discounts (she worked for the state) and overall quality of life due to drug addiction. I am 22 and she is 19 years old. We just recently moved into our first apartment and things were really starting to come together...I wanted to get her out of that environment. We both work and go to school, my high school sweetheart followed me to college. We had a temporary split before we moved in together that lasted two months because I got cold feet, she started talking to someone new because I wasn't being a responsible adult and handling things the way I should. She didn't tell me about it, and my heart was broken. This relationship lasted a week or two. Well in the midst of all of this I started trying to move on...she didn't like this and we had a small (but all the same bad) physical altercation in our apartment where I exaggerated a bad situation and made it worse by calling the police. We remained friends for a while, got the court issues settled, continued to live together, and moved. However these problems caused by the court situation, her mother, and hanging out with the wrong crowd has caused new problems...She has called and had me arrested for domestic assault and violating my COR twice...I have been arrested three times in one month for things I didn't even do. Like anyone with common sense, I moved out of the apartment and left her to her own devices. I seriously have no clue why she is reacting to things like this: She works at McDonald's with a bunch of low life's, and her new friends do not match what she is trying to achieve in life. Mimi and Sam have ruined her. They are known for drugs and alcohol...She would get angry when she couldn't go over there, she would lie about her whereabouts, and once came home with a hickey that she tried to convince me was a bite mark. They are Latinos, I am half Latino, and I can tell anyone that isn't a "standard" greeting. These people are not in school, they have made carriers out of McDonald's and Golden Corral, and they are on drugs...This isn't the path Julianne intends to take. Mimi is a lesbian so I don't know if Julianne has taken to her, the drugs, or both. My girlfriend is 5'6 100 pounds. Mimi is 5'7 or 8, severely overweight, harsh on the eyes, and has a bright future in fry making. I am 5'3 110 pounds, senior in college, going to law school next spring, and has a bright future. She has let these friends hang up in my face when I call and all sorts of negative things that I shouldn't have tolerated...My girlfriend would always apologize and I would accept it. In TN, it is the "first one to the phone" rule, even though I didn't do anything to her (and the police report states no signs or evidence of physical abuse) I am still being arrested for domestic assault. People can call and say someone did anything and even if alleged defendant has 101 witnesses stating it didn't happen they will still be cuffed and trialed. Friends tell me that she is sorry and wants to try and work on things, but I don't know if someone can forgive and move on after something like this. This situation has cost me my job, home, almost my classes, emotional, and financial stability. We are not allowed to talk or see anyone due to a court order, but I feel like if she really missed me she would find a way to show me this. Three and a half years by no means is a contract. We have just been through a lot...I don't want to be stupid and hang on to something I shouldn't, and at the same time I think if she can't make any efforts then it isn't in my place to amend this particular situation. Plus, to make things worse, her drug addict mom moved into our apartment while my girlfriend takes care of all the bills...We haven't spoke to each other in over a month and our next court date is in over another month. We have a trip to Spain together (no refunds) May 13 until June 13th (my birthday) We have made plans to marry after that and everything. I want her to still be that special one, but it may really just be time to let go... more

Voting Question: am i depressed Please reply this is important?

i've been feeling sad like really badly for the last 7 months i can't even fake a smile like i use too. i can't sleep if i do i remember all these bad memory's of child abuse when i was younger (i'm 16) i cry for no reason it gets uncontrollable i'll want to harm myself just to feel pain. I feel so lonely all the time i daydream to ignore how i feel when i was younger i was jealous of how my parents always put my brother first than me and my sister i was the youngest too i told my sister i wanted to die when i was 7 years old it wasn't an attention thing i just didn't want to live i couldn't forgive my parents after what they did. i was bullied at school teased i hate the way i look well i can't look in the mirror makes me feel sick i think of suicide not on purpose just these thoughts that come in my head. The reason i'm asking is i'm going to the doctors this monday to get something checked out and i want to tell the doctor i have depression i already looked up the symptoms and they're all there 1)Thinking of suicide, no hope in a good future 2)Putting on weight, overeating 3)sad all the time 4) i feel hopeless, useless, worthless 5) i sleep during the day to hide my feelings 6)crying constantly can't get over the past 7) i'm daydreaming too much like i'm someone else i don't want to be me. 8) my personality is just dull now i find it hard to remember stuff 9) i worry about my weight 10) i had a councilor in school my teacher required him, my teacher signed me up for some class thing like an emotional/anger thing didn't help though made it worse. 11) i have a bad anxiety i can't go outside without worrying or thinking people are staring at me. before people say GO TO A DOCTOR < I have an appointment THIS monday but i'm finding it hard how to tell the doctor i'm depressed i thought i could trust my dad FOR once and he ruined my trust i told him i was depressed when i was 15 and he just said so i choked up even getting the words out my mouth then he called me a drama queen and said i didn't know what depression was. i'm not close to anyone in my family i don't have that loving relationship i can't trust them. more

Voting Question: Is this child abuse under UK law?

A 15 year old male is treated with disrespect, irrational hatred and verbal abuse one day, and then bought things and offered favours the next. His mother seems to punish him when she wants him to do chores for him, for example she will pre-emptively punish him when she wants him to clean the next day, without asking him first. She seems to gain pleasure from taking away the things he enjoys and when he grows close to another person and feels happy she takes action to seperate him from that person and isolate him. Her treatment towards him is the complete opposite of her treatment of his younger brother, to whom she is respectful, caring and seems to take excellent care of. Would this qualify as a case of emotional abuse under UK law? The victim is apprehensive about reporting the case unless it will go through as the treatment would be worsened by it being reported.Note: The father is aware of the differing treatment and either ignores it or provides physical back up to the mother's threats. As far as I know there has been one occasion where the mother tried to hit the child, he defended himself, and she responded by getting the father to hit him. more

Voting Question: Do I send one child on access visits when the other refuses?

My 13 yr old son will not see his father any more. There has been a long history of emotional blackmail as well as some physical abuse, although mild. There is extreme anger, yelling and general bullying. My son's 11 yr old brother seems to tolerate going to his dad because he feels if he doesn't dad will become more angry. The 11 year old is now also reaping the rewards of being 'the good boy' in dad's eyes so his time there is becoming more pleasant than before. I've been encouraging the 13 year old to go but it has become impossible. I know their dad will now want the 11 year old even more and will do anything needed to make that happen yet I feel that would be more detrimental to both in the long run. There are orders in place but they have not been adhered to for over 4 months now when both boys were complaining about the emotional and physical abuse. Since then there has been some counselling but it doesn't seem too helpful. I'm inclined now to withhold the 11 yr old from visitation as I don't want him to feel he has to be the peace keeper and I don't want him sucked into more emotional blackmail. What do I do??? Splitting the boys up seems so wrong especially when they get on well together at the moment. No-one wants the angry fall out if the kids are with-held untill further counselling, and I'm not sure the court would endorse it either. more

Resolved Question: Do you think my dad is a verbal/emotional abuser?

Well, first of all, I have to say that my dad's not always angry. His family has a history of being bipolar, but he really is a good person. I have to say that he has good morals and he's a good man considering I'm posting this on the internet and that it'll never really be erased. Anyway, on to the question details....My mom and dad fight...A LOT. He will begin to be upset over the smallest (and i mean smallest) of things. He will curse and scream (he has the most horribly loud voice)...and he'll say things like "You don't love me!" even though my mother does always try to show her love. I do know this, believe me, i've dealt with it all my life, and when you stand back and watch things, you seem to have a better understanding of what's going on than what the actual people in the situation do. Anyway, I am honestly going to say that I have never once seen my dad truley happy. He cannot deal with everyone being happy if he isn't, yet he's overly idealistic. My mom never yells back at him when he yells. He yells at me too. And curses. He's made me cry before over the stupidest things. When I was a child, i was chubby. He would always tell me to stop eating junkfood. This has caused me 'certain' health issues in my past... Another thing is that my dad drinks alcohol. He's fine the first night, but then it seems that the days after the hangover he's utterly depressed and verbally violent. He'll go off on ranting rages of horrible cuss words. There isn't one day I haven't heard him say a curse word. My mom and I think he is bipolar, and I think that they need counseling. But I know for a fact that my dad would NEVER go to counseling, or go to the doctor for bipolar issues, because he would never think such a thing about himself. I guess i would call it denial. He cannot handle anything my mom tells him, he'll be in a horrible mood for the rest of the week. I know this isn't severe, but it does hurt our feelings and I've been dealing with it all my life. Do you think this is some sort of abuse? I don't know...I've never been physically hurt, and I don't think my mom was hurt physically either, but he's made my mom cry before, and he's made me cry even more. I think it's my fault he's angry so much and so easily. I have trouble sleeping, i don't know if it has to do with this or not. But to sum aaaallllll of this up, would you call this abuse?My dad always talks to me about my mother (bad talk of course) and my mom sometimes talks to me about my dad. I know they need a counselor. Even though I want to help my parents, I am their child, and it is just simply not my job to be their counselor. It's too much stress on me, and it will cause me health issues. What do you think i ought to do? Please help me. Thank you (:Thank you all for answers. I appreciate it more than you can imagine. more

Resolved Question: I have a strong suspicion a child is being abused?

She seems to have a very strong emotional attachment to her father, but something is just not right. If she was being abused by him wouldn't she be afraid of him or not want to be around him? more

Voting Question: Is my Dad abusing me?

Here is a list of some of the things he does or has done: *He drags me around the house my my arms/clothes/legs and has sprained parts of my body doing it *He pulls me from my bunk bed and slams me into the floor *He spits in my face *He tells me he doesn't love me, that he wishes I was never born, that he hopes I run away (me and my sister have tried to run away a couple of times because of him and my mum divorced him when we were younger) that he is going to put me in mental hospital or send me to a "brat camp", that I am ugly, fat, worthless, stupid, pathetic (I will not put all of the other names on here because most of them are really rude, like swear words and stuff) *He hits me on varies parts of my body (some times it leaves bruises) *He looks through all my stuff including my underwear (and I am a teenage girl btw) *He throws things at me, hard *He has completely ruined my self esteem (I am trying not to eat much atm because he keeps calling me fat, and if my own Dad calls me fat then I guess I must be) and I don't like to be alone in the same room as him *Me, my sister and my mum have all tried to commit suicide (at different times) *Me and my sister both have to see a counselor because of "emotional damage" or something * Me and my sister are both on the at risk list that the child protection services keep *And I dread when he comes home from work or the weekend when he's at home The worst part is that he makes my mum cry. So much. I love my mum, I think she tries to stick up for me and my sister ... but not enough. She tells us that he does treat us wrong, but he is trying to change and she forgives him right away. Well I can't. I don't think she see's is as discipline, sometimes she tells us we deserved it. But the thing is she told my counselor that my Dad treats us abusively. Nothing happened. I don't feel safe. I thought that might be the one time something would change, but I should have known better. I have pretty much made up my mind already. But I wanted to know if this actually is abuse? Or discipline? Please know that I am not asking this to get attention or sympathy, or making anything up. This is all 100% true. That's the sad part. So if your still reading this, tell me what you think. Because I need help.Thankyou all for the advice Who ever it was who said it was obv or something, you obv are lucky anough not to have lived in an abusive home, because aotherwise you would know that if thats the way you have been brought up, you dont always nessisarily see it as abuse.And we still live with him because they got re-married a couple of years ago :/ more

Resolved Question: Do you ever worry that you're going to screw up your kids?

..I overthink things a lot. I just know that there are things parents do, that they arent aware of at the time, that have permanent impacts on their children and the person they become (obviously, i know). And maybe it's because Im fairly young.. Or maybe it's because, I know my parents made mistakes, and I know I am a result, as a whole, of getting through all those problems, that it scares me so much.. I am resilient and worked through a lot of emotional abuse growing up and Im scared that Im.. well screwed up because of that. And I just get worried that, what if, the part of me that is my mom, comes out, and I put my son through things that shape him wrong. It weighs on me a lot that who he is developing as a person depends solely on me, as his only parent. I havent even gotten myself straightened out after my years of crap, and I am already shaping someone else. I just dont want him to ever feel like this.. how i feel about my mom.. ..I feel that he is this innocent little boy, and I dont want to screw him up. And give him a disadvantage to this already screwed up world. Maybe I should add that.. I work full-time, we go to the park daily, come home, eat dinner, play time, bath time, bedtime.. He has a good life. Extremely happy kid, and gets complimented all the time on how good a kid he is. So it's nothing like that, just what's in my head.. if you can understand what Im saying.. I just feel it's a lot of pressure when i think about it. Am I crazy? more

Resolved Question: If you HAD to choose whether to have your kid live with either physical or emotional abuse what would you pick?

Say there were ONLY two options for where your kid could live, A or B there is NO C and NO neither. Household A comes with physical abuse. Household B comes with emotional abuse. Which household would you pick for your child to live in and why? more

Resolved Question: Do you think my dad is right?

In my opinion, my dad is really scary. When he was a child, he was physically and emotionally abused by his father. My dad used to use spanking (with a board, hockey stick, etc.) to discipline me and my brother when I was in preschool and kindergarten. Now I'm in middle school and my brother is in high school. My brother wastes his life on computer games, usually forgetting to do his homework and forgetting to study. His grades are really bad, and my dad now calls him names (calls him a dirty animal, a pig, etc) and yells at him constantly. He even went on a rage and destroyed a laptop by smashing it onto the floor multiple times. My dad has a history of physical and emotional abuse from his own father, so I was wondering if this sort of abuse could create psychological problems. He also used to smoke heavily, and still does. I'm not sure about you, but do you think that my dad's current way of disciplining my brother is right? more

Resolved Question: Do you believe that tearing your child apart with your words is just as harmful as physical abuse?

Is emotional abuse just as long lasting and hurtful as physical abuse? Can the two even be compared? All respectful thoughts welcome. more

Voting Question: I have become and attached and too emotional involved?

I have become and attached and too emotional involved? there is a lovely 5 year old in my class i have got attched to but he has a bad back ground and is emotional abused by his parents at home. he cries alot and it horried i want to hug him and tell him it will be ok but we cant hug the children because of teacher student protection thing but he is only 5 i dont know how to help him when he wants to hug me i have to say no i feel bad he doesnt get this at home i have got far to emotional involved because he turns to me he is even seeing counceller poor thing he tells me he wants to die and has tried to run before all this make me upset and makes me want to leave my job because of all the drama it affects me i dont know why his parents had him they dont know how to look after a child its so sad more

Resolved Question: Parents: How do you feel when you see stories about children being hurt/abused/conned in the news?

Whenever I see a story in the news or around my community that a child has been hurt in some way (not accident, but purposely hurt by an adult) I get really emotional about it. Little kids are so innocent and for the most part happy and some things just totally destroy that. If it's a teen I don't feel as bad, but still. I always think, "oh my gosh that could've been MY kid" How about you? more

Resolved Question: can a court stop me seeing my son forever?

my baby's dad took me to court because he thought i wasn't coping, i am so residence stays with me. now my son has this problem called encaprisis it soiling, which ive had lots of help with, but the help hasn't worked. a child protection plan has been put in place under emotional abuse, i don't do mean things to my son i promise. im a good mummy i am, im so scared his dad will take me back to court and get custody. and i will loose my boy forever never see him again. can the court do this stop me seeing my son for ever?uk answers please. help me please help me please. he my baby and i dont want to loose him. more

Resolved Question: I want to leave my husband, but he has no support after...?

My husband verbally abuses me in front of our child, he is ADHD and does not understand why his emotions take over. He has broken so many things in our home out of anger, he can't keep a job due to his ADHD and he's bankrupting us as he does not understand how to stop spending - he has never hit and I know he will not hit. We are both in therapy but I just can't see how I can continue with his emotional abuse. His family refuses to be supportive as they too don't like his anger. He has a very wonderful heart for our child and friends and when his emotions have not taken over he really is a great guy. ADHD adults tend to never leave there adolesences, so its like living with two children all the time. I know if I leave he will cry and hound me to not leave him but I know its best for my daughter and I. The only thing holding me back is that he will have no one to go to, I'm his best friend. I feel like his big sister. I pray for guidance but still don't know how to do this...... my sign is Cancer and that equals - sensitive and always there for everyone - its so hard to let ask him to leave our home. Any thoughts.... E. / KentuckyThank you to everyone who has replied so far. I'm glad I wrote to hear some outside advise. To those who mentioned my daughter is the one to think about - you are so right "she is the most important" and she will be the push that helps me to do end this. I don't want her to live this way. I have great family support even when I asked him to leave 3 yrs ago. Thanks again!! more

Voting Question: my child does not want to be with her father?

My child is 8 years old. I have custody and father sees child every second weekend. My child dislikes being with him....she is so traumatised by his emotional state towards her. I have tried governemnt funded counselling for her but the trouble is he is at fault not the child. He the father is so unhappy about his lot that he dumps on her in regard to his own personal past issues with me. I have tried to reason with him but to no avail. We are both married again and to avoid his negative behaviour I avoid him and never critiscise him in front of my daughter. She is crying constantly about going to his place and keeps saying please mum dont let me go. I am so worn out and find the legal system only helps you if you can afford legal support. The government 'protective bodies to date have tried to mediate and agree the law does not protect the child ie the child does not have rights in these situations where their is mental torment. Does anyone know what I can do?...My daughter's health both emotionally and physically is terrible, she spends so much time at the doctors. He father is well aware of her issues but keeps blaming me. I know his behavour is illogical know but he will fight for what he regards as his possession. Does anyone know of a Victorian service that would fight for the right of the child within these circumstances. Child protection services are inundated and focus on physical abuse as they don't have the person power to deal with such things. They have spoken to him but it did nothing but get him angrier. He just canot see how much she is traumitised....I know he is not able to change as this has been happening for a few years and getting worse. thanks Mia more

Resolved Question: How should a couple cope when one may have borderline personality disorder?

My wife may have borderline personality disorder, she feels an emotional detachment from everybody around her, including me. She's been physically and psychologically abused as a child. It's also hard for her to make friends as well as keep them. Is there a cure for this? I don't mean like multiple personality disorder either.Thank you both for answering it makes me feel better now that I know it's a manageable disorder. more

Resolved Question: Can a parent gain sole custody of minor child if they can prove emotional and mental abuse?

My son shows several symptoms of emotional abuse : cutting himself and other self injurious behavior, no freinds at school, shutting down and freezing when other children pick on him at school, very sad on a daily basis when he is not in my care ( reported by school). Step mother has called me with her concerns about his dad screaming at him often for not doing a task above normal expectations (building a wall), etc...My son is only 12. His aunt has told me about my ex-husband often times glaring at him and intimidating my son without even verballizing what he wants my son to do ( as if he is suppose to be a mind reader). My son has told me that he feels the safest when he is with me then anywhere else. At this moment we have joint custody. more

Resolved Question: How do I forgive someone who did something horrible to me?

I was physically and mentally abused as a child by my father. I was on speaking terms with him up unto 3 years ago when I brought my wife home and he started emotionally abusing her. The early stages as I call it - He started smirking at her like she was ugly when no one was looking and ignoring her totally for the rest of this time. I put up with this for 2 days for the sake of my mother who hadn't seen me in 5 years and after this I told him how horrible he was as a father to me from childhood right up unto adulthood. I left the house right there and will not go back. I feel that the only reason I saw how bad it was was that when he started abusing my wife of 8 years who I love more than myself it was like someone shined a mirror on what he did to me in the past and I couldn't hold back. I saw exactly what type of a monster he was. My poor wife took months to get her confidence back she says it was one of the most awful experiences she has ever gone through. Trouble is that was 3 years ago. I know I can never see him again but I need to forgive him without ever meeting him again and move on with my life because he has been living in my head for three years and is slowly driving me mad. Can anyone offer some advice. Maybe on past experiences? The trouble is now I need to forgive him, the monster that he is, (he feels he was teaching us ( my mother brother and sisters) rough love?sick) and will not acknowledge he did anything wrong so confronting him is a waste of emotional energy more

Voting Question: How do you get over emotional abuse as a child and it's impact?

It recently dawned on me how severe my situation is even though I have been repressing things for a good portion of my life. I'm teenager at this point and throughout my whole life (~13 years since I was three), my mom and I were emotionally, verbally, (and physically to a much lower extent) abused my father. We left him a while back and at that moment it feels like a huge weight has lifted from my shoulders. But I was clearly wrong, because I'm still coping and healing with the aftermath, which is another battle that is equally difficult. I don't want to bore anyone with my life story. Being in high school, I feel like I need to be doing more to put myself out there and making things happen in preparation for the real world, but that's not the case. I'm totally withdrawn from other people and have poor social skills. I pretty much push everyone away and prefer to be distanced and isolated, which is annoys the hell out of my peers. It just feels like people (especially teachers) are hinting at me that something is wrong especially with my communicating ability. It's just that I genuinely fear of disappointing them (which I am easily good at). It's not grade-wise - I'm strong academically, but it's just verbalizing my thoughts or doing something where I'm shaky at. This past week like has really brought a lot of internal issues in light and leaving me feeling a little more concerned on how well I will be able to survive in the real world, especially when it comes to professional and personal relationships. I admit I can appear to be very indifferent and apathetic about things, somewhat of a coping ability that I developed during the abuse. I wish I could elaborate more, but my thoughts are slightly scattered and not cohesive as I'm doing this as a spur of a moment thing. I spent a good amount of morning just tearing up (which I haven't done in a while) I guess the cumulative effect of these past few weeks and the last 13 years of my life is forcing me to re-evaluate my life. But I feel like I've been in a continuous cycle of re-evaluating and rationalizing the severity of my situation. I feel like I should DO something and stop thinking about it. Someone who I respect tremendously mentioned counseling in general for abused people - I don't know how I feel about that. Thanks....Lol...Believe me, I won't get pregnant and I have no intentions on dating anyone until I'm older and wiser. Probably too insecure right now... more

Resolved Question: how to feel normal please suggest?

hi my husband has cheated me . i am married for 15 years ,we had problems because of his bi plar mood disorder resulting in his losing of jobs, bad relations with everyone . now for last 3-4 years he was improving ,our life had started to be better but my luck for last about 2 years he started troubling again everytime abusing my parents, to abuse me he feels is his birth right ,i tried to ignore as even it was untolerable but as we have a daughter i tried not to give her insecurity of fighting parents but now he has been to a brothel, i feel he is going on routine and he told me himself and said that he is going for emotional need when i have loved him from the core of my heart and i suppose he know it but he says that he was alone for last 10 years that is y he has done it .he talks very bad about my parents without their fault. i do not know what to do i am feeling very depressed, helpless and have lost interest in my life living for my daughter only. on one side i do not want to see his face but at the same time sometimes i feel i love him a lot. i want to give my daughter full emotional security but he says he want to devorce. i want to come out of this trauma so that i am able to take proper care of my daughter and feel better. i am serving earning good money to take care of my child. he has never cared for his daughter (studies,daily needs etc) but now want to use her saying that he will fight for her custody if i do not come to his terms. i always loved him ,even love him this time also that is what is hurting me the most. he has no value for my emotions but i am very emotional. also i cannot hear a word against my parents it kills me and he knows it and he continues to do it. he is living abroad comes for some days after 5 months but now now he has created a problem that i am not able to live one day peacefully . i am really fed up with life. i fell guilty for my parents, daughter but helpless more

Resolved Question: I need some serious answers about a domestic abusive situation, please?

Oh gosh, where to start?!?! Ok, so the situation is this - My mother is currently going through a separation from her husband of 18 years. He is not my biological father, but he did adopt my brother and I, against our will basically, when we were very young. Together, he and my mother have 4 more children. This separation has turned very nasty. My mother's husband has been a domineering and obnoxious person since the day I met him, and nothing has changed, in fact it has gotten worse. Over the last 18 years he has used the Bible as a weapon to control everyone in his life, telling them the Bible gives him authority over them and they are in rebellion to question what he demands. My mom has finally decided she is done with his constant verbal and emotional abuse that he has inflicted for years and filed for full custody seeing as none of the children at this point want anything to do with him. Obviously, he is fighting her very hard and blaming the kids feelings towards him on her. Also, he has been a prescription drug addict for over 10 years and just within the last 6 months has been, supposedly, off all medication. On top of this addiction to morphine and Fentanyl he has drunk and drove several times, been on sleeping pills and drove, and huffed paint once to get high and relieve the pain he has from some surgeries years ago. Once he was drunk and asked my 9 year old half brother (7 years old at the time) to drive with him down to the dollar store right up the street...with my brother as the driver. My mother intervened, but this type of thing is not uncommon for him. He brought fireworks into the home not long ago (illegal in the state) and had my brother outside with kerosene lighting them. Anyway, he commands respect from everyone and when he does not get it he threatens and intimidates and bullies everyone in the house until they feel helpless other then to just do whatever it takes to get him to back off. My mother call the police on him pushing her out the door through the use of the door and has received no help from the deputies at all. An incident that happened just hours ago was my mother returning from a trip out of town and brought back my older brother with her to stay with her for the weekend turned into her husband calling the sheriff on my brother and demanding he be removed from the property. So, I guess I don't understand. This is all in the state of AZ, by the way. My mother's name is on the mortgage, she owns half the house legally, and is getting it in the separation. Her lawyer told me that if her husband called the cops to have me removed they would not be able to considering she owns half the house, so why did this not happen that way? I am thinking the best choice at this point is to contact CPS and report the emotional and verbal abuse and see if it can be used for the court to help my mother get full custody. Does this sound reasonable in this situation? There are so many more issues and details, but it's all a lot to process and make sense of right now. Any good (not rude) advice is welcome, it fact I am begging for it! I am at my breaking point by seeing this all happen, they are all victims, and I am not sure what I can do to help. more

Resolved Question: Please help me! I need to know if this is emotional abuse?

I love my parents so much. I would never like to see anything bad happen to them. But lately I've been realising all of the stuff I've had to put up with over the years. My mom and dad were both alcoholics and drug abusers when they were young, both had bad experiences with their parents, and my mom was sexually abused by several men when she was young. I have various problems, like Ausperger's, anxiety, depression, ADD, hypoglycemia, scoliosis, vision problems, irritable bowl, excess weight, allergies, and possibly Dyslexia. I take Zoloft, Abilify, Daytrana, and allergy meds. When I was in elementary school, I was bullied by my teachers and classmates and called "stupid/weird/ugly" and "a problem child/couldn't learn." I also was "violated" by a five year old. No lie. My mom used to spank me all the time when I was little and she'd chase me around the house until she caught me and spank me as hard as she could. Also, every day after my bath, my sister and I would stand in the living room in our panties and wrestle each other and my parents watched. I have no clue what that was all about. My mom always puts me down and makes stupid jokes about me that aren't even funny. I try so hard to be good and do my homework and my chores, but if I slip up once, I can't go on the internet or play video games or listen to music or even talk to my friends. I know it seems trivial, and it probably is. But it's like I'm walking on eggshells or on impossibly small stepping stones. And I'm really bad at it. Sometimes, when my mom's really angry, she calls me some really bad names, tells me she won't pay for college when I graduate, or she would be better off in jail or shooting herself in the head so she won't have to care about me anymore. She still hits me now and then, like she slapped me across the face once or twice, but it's turned mostly into verbal stuff. I'm a habitual liar, and I'm trying to improve. But my mom never believes a word I say and uses even small talk with her as ammunition against me later. She says I never listen to her or do what she says when I forget to do my chores for a day. It's like nothing I did before that mattered. My dad seems afraid of my mom and does everything she says, word for word. He always tells me to do what my mom said so he and I won't get in trouble. He acts like a child (sounds mean, but it's true), and he whines and complains when I try to talk to him about family problems. They always make it seem like their problems are more important. When I try to talk about family problems, they try to make it seem like I'm "well off" by describing their own childhood. When I tell them that I'm sick, they say that they don't feel well, too, but THEY still go to work. When I tell them about the various problems I'm having due to my medications, they tell me that they didn't have treatment when they were a child and therefore weren't as "privileged" and I shouldn't be complaining. Whenever I cry, my mom says that I'm faking it just to get attention. And the list goes on and on. My sister has moved out, and she knows how I feel but does not know what to do for me. "Just play their game," he says. "You'll be out of there before you know it." But what if every second I am in this house or at least bound by them, I feel like I am suffocating and want to do various things to harm and/or kill myself? I have felt like banging my head against a brick wall, slitting my wrists, shooting myself in the head, jumping off a cliff, or sitting in the middle of a highway and getting run over by some random truck. And I have used razor blades several times to cut on my hands before, but only one of my friends knows that. I told everyone else that I fell. My friends and family belittle my problems, and the school people just don't seem to care at all. And I'm so afraid of what might happen if my counsellor or case manager suspects that it IS emotional abuse. I'm just not sure what I should do. I'm so confused...They are also very inconsistent in their parenting. For example, one day I do something and nothing happens. The next day I do it and I'm in a heap of trouble. It doesn't even make sense how they "punish" me either. And it's for the littlest things like missing the bus or making them mad by saying something that irritates them.By the way, I'm 16. I'm have two years left in high school.Even though it might be abuse, my mind still refuses to believe it is true and keeps me from getting help. I don't know why.There is also some things that I forgot to add, like my mom throwing my bookbag (full of textbooks!) at me. And I'm not even really supposed to be on here today, because apparently looking up some things for school would be "rewarding" me for being absent from school. Huh?? more

Voting Question: drug & alcohol help ! please?!?!?

Should a driver evaluate their state of mind before attempting the operation of a motor vehicle? a) no b) yes Drugs effect all users the same way. a) true b) false Alcohol affects the reaction time of drivers by slowing the reaction time down. a) true b) false Higher doses of barbiturates result in ______. a) aggressive behavior b) erratic driving c) both d) neither The most dangerous aspect of multiple depressant use is the __________ factor a) subtractive b) deductive c) additive Alcohol and other drugs offer an escape from a life full of powerlessness, loneliness and fear. a) true b) false Some of the visual clues for the defensive driver to spot an impaired driver are _______. a) stopping without cause b) tailgating c) slow driving d) all of the above The combination of major tranquilizers and alcohol does not enhance the drowsiness effect of both. a) true b) false Speeding is a factor in ______ of all fatal crashes in the United States. a) 10% b) 20% c) 30% d) 40% The cycle of addiction can occur in individuals who lack adequate coping skills. a) true b) false The synergistic effect is_______with each combination, each time and each person a) different b) the same c) has no affect d) none of the above. An injury from a motor vehicle crash happens in the United States every seconds. a) 35 seconds b) 25 seconds c)15 seconds d) 5 seconds With emotional distress risen to the point of violence, your mind is not capable of rational function. a) true b) false Violations of six points are ______. a) unlawful speed resulting in a collision b) leaving the scene of a collision with property damage over $50 c) all of the above. The frontal lobe of the brain is where you have_______. a) judgement b) decision making c) awareness d) all of the above Marijuana is typically sold in the form of cut, dried leaves and stems. a) true b) false Alcohol use/abuse leads to______ in the user/abuser a) poor self image b) growing sense of despair c) both d) neither Regular heavy drinkers usually have to drink more and more in order to have the same effect. a) true b) false High use of Narcotics may result in drowsiness, coma or death. a) true b) false It is unsafe and dangerous to drive with any amount of alcohol in your body. a) true b) false As you use alcohol, the automatic functions of the body controlled by the brain like the heartbeat and breathing also become impaired. a) true b) false Smoking tobacco products can damage your eye’s retina’s ability to contract and expand. a) true b) false Impaired driver’s reaction times often double in response to situations on the road a) true b) false Alcohol is a gateway drug. a) true b) false Alcohol is use as a form of self-medication to “manage” ______. a) anxiety b) boredom c) both d) neither Many of the injuries and deaths children sustain in motor vehicle crashes can be avoided with the correct use of child safety seats and safety belts. a) true b) false If a person refuses for a second or subsequent time to submit to a chemical or physical test their driving privilege will be suspended for ______. a) twenty four months b) eighteen months c) twelve months. The shift from periodic social drinking to substance abuse evolves to meet a person’s need for . a) comfort b) esteem c) both d) neither As you use alcohol, you vision center of the brain becomes impaired. a) true b) false Alcohol has many sensations, which include,______. a) nausea b) euphoria c) both d) neither The most noticeable feature of hallucinogen use is flashbacks. a) true b) false Some of the reasons that your driving privilege could be revoked are ______. a) convicted of DUI b) convicted of reckless driving three times in one year c) both d) neither Including the direct and indirect costs, alcohol related collisions cost society_______billion dollars annually. a) 86 b) 96 c) 106 d) 116 Depressants are less dangerous than stimulants. a) true b) false The shift from periodic social drinking to substance abuse evolves to meet a person’s need for comfort and esteem. a) true b) false The liver’s function is to______ all-toxic substances from the body. a) adversely b) remove c) keep the same Messages in you brain are transmitted by_______. a) electrons b) protons c) photons d) neurons. Hallucinogens can induce schizophrenic behavior. a) true b) false You can overdose on alcohol or alcohol in combination with other substances. a) true b) false When a child is 6 and older and large enough they can use an adult seat belt. a) true b) false more

Resolved Question: How do I approach the subject of certain family members not being allowed around my baby?

Okay here's the deal: My grandma remarried after my grandpa died. She's been with this guy for about 6 years. He's always rude to me. He constantly insults, belittles and talks down to me. (Even ruined what may be my Grandma's last Xmas by starting an argument with me. Also ruined my relationship with my grandma by making her side with him when he said I'd be a bad mother because I "ruined" my pregnancy by finding out the gender). I keep my mouth shut because my grandma is happy and I don't want to start trouble. My grandma now has lung cancer and, as much as I hate the douche, he is taking very good care of my grandma. (aside from what I see as emotional abuse, but no one in my family agrees). The thing is, because of her pain meds (and a recent hip replacement surgery) she can't do anything alone so he is always around. Originally my husband and I didn't want him to even see our child ever. Now that'll be impossible because I will not keep her from my grandma. So I've come to terms with the fact he'll be in the same room as her but we have decided that he is NEVER to touch her or hold her. He is also not to come to the hospital. If he has to bring her then that is fine, but he is not to enter the room (I know for this I can enlist the nurses to help me out and keep him away). Now the problem becomes: How do we go about telling him this without upsetting my Grandma too much? Do we just wait until he tries to hold her one day and say "no"? Do we bring it up before hand? Do I enlist my mom and dad to do my dirty work? lol ANY suggestions would be great. Thanks Ladies (and gents, if there's any hanging around here). more

Resolved Question: Seriously what the hell am I supposed to do?

I am 20 years old and I feel as though my life is a big, chaotic mess. I really don't know what to do anymore with my relationship with my mother. I am at the point right now that I don't want anything to do with her, I look at her as only a person and not a mother. If she wasn't my "mother" I wouldn't talk to her. Here is some background stuff: I was physically abused as a child by my mother and father. As well as emotional abuse. Because of them I have no self esteem. I have scars on my body from my parents throwing me into walls, punching me, cutting me with knives etc. My father passed away when I was 16. My mother is a drug addict/alcoholic who has been my whole life. She is also bipolar and has multiple personality disorder. I moved out of my mother's house and into my brother's house when I was 17 because of physical abuse and the cops were called, which therefor had me live with my brother. I moved out on my own at age 18 (with my boyfriend) and I am still with him, living on our own. Here is my dilemma and what I need some advice/help/opinions on: My mother since I was 16 has tried to kill herself 5 times. Each time I had to find her and 3/5 times I had to do mouth to mouth/CPR on my own mother. I had to admit her into rehab (she has been there 4 times and she wasn't sober for more than a month) and I have been the one who has gotten the third degree from her for being a "Horrible b*tch who doesn't deserve to live." I am just sick of it. She has said so many things to me over the years like how she wished she would have had an abortion, how I am a f*cking b*tch, how I don't do anything etc. I have nightmares of being abused by my parents, and still to this day I have a hard time sleeping at night, because of them and what they did to me and what she continues to do to me. The problem is, I have been with my boyfriend since I was 15, he is the love of my life but I have found myself going downhill so fast. I let my mother's comments get to me on a daily basis, even though I know I shouldn't. My mother calls me at least 5/7 days a week and tells she is going to kill herself because of me. My boyfriend for the first time told me tonight "The problem and the reason we have been fighting lately is because you let your mother put you down, and you believe her. Your mother is coming between our relationship" And the sad part is, its true. If she was a random person and not my "mother" I would have nothing to do with her. I want so badly just to stop talking to her and have nothing to do with her. Is this wrong of me? I feel as though I am the bad person because I feel this way. I just need some advice on if there is anything for me to do. When I don't talk to her I am SO happy and I live my life, the instant I talk to her it ruins my day. I can never have a normal talk with my mother, it always turns into her bashing me and making me feel like nothing.Also, my mother is on medication for her bipolar and personality disorders. She is also engaged to a man she has known for a while, so she is not alone. more

Resolved Question: In Texas, do the Courts, and Judges in general, lean towards Child Custody with the birth mother?

History: MY current wife's husband had custody of their two sons. One of the sons claimed abuse by me, which was found untrue, and that resulted in her letting them stay with their father. Essentially, she thought she'd "Let him see how it was to be a single parent full time" and ended up screwing herself (and the kids) in the process. After 1 1/2 years, the 9 yr old (the oldest, and also the one who lied) decided to come live with us again on a permanent basis. When the son brought his decision to the attention of his father, his dad simply said "Bye!". During the time of his custody of both, she paid child support for both children to the father. She even paid full child support for both children for the first year her oldest son lived with us, due to Texas law. Of course, the father gladly took said support money and never offered to return any. During the hearing for his custody being assigned to her, the judge didn't assign her repayment, either. No biggie, because one of the children is back with us where we feel his best interests are at the forefront. During all of this time, my wife and I had a son, who is the childrens step-brother. The youngest is with him still. He's 7 currently. The father is single. He works Tue-Fri and occassionally weekends from 6 am to 4 pm. Due to his schedule, the child wakes at 4AM and goes to whomever's home to wait for delivery to daycare. Then off to school, and back to daycare until the father picks him up around 5PM. He is sent to bed at 8 nightly, but is allowed to watch TV until all hours of the morning, which he frequently does. He's rarely supervised or interacted with at the fathers domicile. Now, my wife is considering seeking custody. She never wanted to break up the two brothers, but she took what she could get when the father put it up on a platter. CUrrently, the 7 yr old is pooping his pants and urinating on floors in his own home, as well as my wife's mother's home. MY wife's mother watches the kids most weekends that the father has visitation of both children (thus enabling his non-parenting.) She's the one who's been trying to find out why her guest room and game room smelled like pee, and finally caught the youngest peeing in her room after months of her investigating the matter. Obviously, this wreaks of emotional issues. The child says he does it because "he can't hold it:", but no medical condition is present. Now that she's attempting to gain custody, we're wondering: A. Do Texas Courts and Judges lean more towards "Children with the mother" B. Do the Courts prefer sibilngs together (I.E. Would two of the 3 siblings living with us lend to a Judges decision) C. Would us being married, in a stable home, with a total of 4 children living with us (My first 2 from my previous marriage, Her oldest 1, and our youngest 1) lend weight to a Courts decision. D. Would her attorney's gender lend to anything in the hearing Thanks in advance for any answers given. We really appreciate it. more

Resolved Question: Who should leave, who should have to move out?

If a marriage is going to end, who should have to move out? I am a stay home mom, we have two children. I work on call for clerical work and do small jobs from home. I will have to get a full time job. But it seems as though more and more our marriage is done. That or I just deal with emotional abuse draining my self worth from here on out. So in talking to my husband today, I told him I felt it would be best if he would just leave. Let me and the kids stay here , we are renting not buying thankfully. And he should find another place, help me out until I can get on my feet. Is this wrong or would it seem logical? And why does he continally refuse to end our marriage? We are like a roller coaster and I am seriously mentally drained. I cannot take the ups and downs. This has been several years, I have always been there for him in all his trials in life. So it is not like I just want to bail out but for my health and well being I feel it is the only answer. Advice. And yes I already go to therapy, which helped him change but he still reverts back to his old ways. In the next two appointments, my therapist wanted me to bring him in. But I feel like today it is over. more

Resolved Question: I asked question earlier about abusive husband. Now I have another question.?

I threw his butt out of the house for talking to me any kind of way and treating me like crap. I was wondering if anyone has ever used legal aid to get a divorce and how much did they charge. Also can my husband get custody of my kids if I file for divorce? He has a record for domestic violence. I have put him in jail for it 3 times. and he has also had to go to anger management. When I had my 2nd child by him, they wouldn't let him in the hospital to see the baby because I have abuse in my files ( have been in the hospital 3 times due to stress and abuse). Everyone knows that he has been beating on me in the past and everyone knows about the emotional and mental and verbal abuse. They have seen me go from having a great career to barely holding on to my job due to stress and related illnesses. People have watched me lose everything and go bankruptcy dealing with him. So the fact that he dogged me is out there. Why should I feel guilty for throwing his butt out when he didn't care while he beat up on me during all 3 pregnancies...as well as choking me and punching me tonight (I just had a child with this loser 3 weeks ago). I hate myself for having kids with him...but after he went to counseling I thought he had changed and ended up getting pregnant again. He wasn't always like this. So the big question is can he custody or shared custody of my kids with all that he has done to me? He calls me a terrible mom. He says I am lazy when I try to take a nap while the kids sleep. He says I am crazy when I try to clean house and go pay bills. So what am I supposed to do? Wait on him hand and foot. It is clearly mental abuse ( oh his dad did his mom like this too...they ended up divorced, also). They are evil or something.No I didn't raise my kids to be dependent on the government....although there is not wrong with getting assistance if you really need it. Some people out there really need it. No I have a job. I am a teacher (I don't make much but I have a job). Oh I do feel like I lost all my self-respect and control of my life. But it is time to get back in control of everything.No I am the one buying the house. He is unemployed now because they closed his factory. more

Resolved Question: Should I forgive in laws....?

A year ago I'd had enough of being bullied, manipulated, guilt tripped and even bribed or blackmailed. My step-father in law is a manipulative control freak, my mother in law is a completely insane violent narcissist and both are delusional beyond belief. They expected me to babysit for them at their beck and call (which I did, I adored my husband's youngest brother) but never returned the favour and I never asked. They kicked my brother in law out when he was 16 for no good reason and expected us to house him-which we did, even though we weren't in any position to (even now 7 years later I'm more of a mum to him than his actual mum). They've interfered, broken into my home, rifled through my belongings and opened my private post, emailed my mother whom they've never met with bull****, called me every name under the sun. Accused my youngest two children of not being my husband's because they're not bleach blonde (they look more like I do, the eldest looks more like my husband) accused me of affairs, they call me selfish when I stand up for myself and my kids. They've even called social services when I wouldn't do what they wanted after threatening to do so if I did not comply. Long story short (I've left out a lot), its the only family we have in the UK and as much as I know I can't let those two anywhere near me I feel guilty. They haven't had a relationship with my kids for the most part, none of us are missing out on anything except a lot of emotional abuse. They've never apologised for anything they've done and I'm sure they think I'm the antichrist, but now are inviting all of us (through my brother in law who they walk past and don't even acknowledge) to my MIL's 50th birthday. I think its because her family from abroad are going to be here and she hasn't said why we aren't in touch, but still I can't help but feel guilty even though I think I've done the right thing by cutting them out of our lives. My husband doesn't want to know them, his brother doesn't want to know them and his step brother doesn't want to know them. Even some of my MIL's oldest friends no longer want anything to do with them. Part of me feels like being very childish and sending a nasty note to them (which I'm not gonna do, just daydream about the look on their faces lol), part of me wants to pretend none of it ever happened and try and have a relationship with them, and the rest of me knows that we're all in for a lot of hell if I even consider giving them yet another chance. I guess I'd just like to know if it was you, would you give them another chance or leave it as is?Jenn: Thanks, that never actually occurred to me. I think thats exactly what I will do. Cheers much! And thanks to everyone else too :) more

Resolved Question: If something bad happened to these children, would you hold their mother accountable?

A woman with two children from a previous relationship meets and marries a man who is a physical abuser. He hurts her very badly on many occasions, breaking bones, etc, but she is scared because she thinks if she leaves him, he will kill her, or her kids -- or she and the kids will be homeless. So she just takes his abuse, sexual, physical, and emotional. If he harms her children in any way, do you think this woman should be held accountable, too? more

Resolved Question: Is this emotional abuse?

okay...My mom has had a crappy childhood filled with rape, abuse, and then an abusive boyfriend who is now her husband...who beat her from when i was a baby till i was about 7, she attempted suicide when i was four, she got Multiple sclerosis when i was 7, and became an alchoholic when i was 9,10,11 then attempted suicide again *and i didn't tell* when iwas 12 but ever since the end of 2nd grade my mom cursed at me on a daily basis, called me a retard every day, both flat out and subtle, made fun of me, and blamed me for all her marriage problems, money problems, medical problems, and my little sisters behaviour problems. and my mom calls me names all the time and just says flatout mean things like "if the house was on fire, i would only save g@@@ and Au@@@@ (my siblings)" and " i only have to love you till your 18" and "your my least favorite child" and she's beat the crap out of me really bad one day in fifth grade and has slapped me a few times. she also tells me i'm never gonna amount to anything and im gonna work at mcdonalds/be a hobo/be on welfare/be a prostitute...and my mom twists everything around and lies to my aunt, grandma, and dad about me. and tells my 18 yr old brother to hit me when she's mad and my sister does disgusting things to me, never leaves me alone, steals my stuff, and beats me way more than most siblings do. she also has screaming fits at my mom threatening to kill herself if she doesnt get her way and calls my mom a horrible mother all the time The only thing i do wrong is scream and cry and not clean my bathroom. Is it okay for my mom to do this to me if i scream and cry all the time about it/when my sister is harrassing me? more

Resolved Question: How normal can an adult who was abused as a child become?

I left home when I was 16 and am 30 years old now. My father always used severe physical punishment to correct bad behavior (10-20 lashes with a leather belt for getting out of bed at night) But when I was about 10 the punishment turned to full blown beatings. I was thrown down stairs, dragged by my hair, kicked and thrown through furniture and hit with objects like broom handles. Some of the beatings were so bad that I can't remember them. I only know of them because my sister told me that they happened. I have always had anger and emotional problems over the years. I have been going to counseling off and on for over a decade. I feel like I go through cycles of improvement. I go to counseling to work on certain issues, but after a while I feel like I hit a plateau where the improvement I am seeing tapers off. When I feel that my progress has stopped I end my treatment. When I get to a point again where I think I have identified an issue to work on I go back to counseling and repeat the process. It's almost like peeling off layers of an onion. I feel at times that I don't really function on the level of a normal 30 year old woman. I have a degree, I don't have any kind of alcohol or drug problems. I'm not a total loser. But I feel like I struggle to maintain normal relationships with people in my life on a casual basis. It's not the people close to me either like my fiance, friends or sister that I have trouble with, it's the people that I'm not close to that I have issues dealing with. Is having an expectation of normalcy unrealistic? I feel like I will never be completely normal no matter what I do? How close to normal is it reasonable to aim for? more

Resolved Question: What are some personality Characteristics of Abused teens?

I am writing a story for young authors and I decided on the dangers of abused children. The story is about a young boy named Noah and I am trying to do research on the topic but nothing is really coming up. He is a 16 year old boy who's mother died in a car accident when he was 8 and his dad began to drink around then and began to get aggressive. Not sexual or emotional abuse, but Physical abuse like getting thrown against falls, kicked, shaken, slapped. How would he personality be? more

Resolved Question: I am being mentally/emotionally abused by my mom. I need help,?

I decided to go online and see what I could find because I wasn't so sure if this is really mental/emotional abuse. My mom and I don't communicate well. She always dominates the conversation and it leads to a bigger argument. Sometimes when things get really heated, she would say a lot of hurtful things. She would call me a slut, a whore. She says it's impossible for me to get better, and I am incapable to being succesful. She says stop crying because it is a weakness. She tries implying that I need 'sexual' help. (and I don't.) Whenever I make a mistake she says if I do it again or keep doing it she will send me away. She judges my friends and isolates me from the outside wrold. She keeps me in the house. She doesn't like it when I go online and tlak to my friends, she also doesn't give me a phone. I'm turning 17 this august. This may seem like she is just a clingy parent and doesn't want to let go of me, but it is way deeper than that. No one understands her like I do.. I did some research and I found this list, and I put a " * " next to it if it applies to me. Making the child/teen feel responsible for the mother's feelings. * Threatening them in general. * Threatening them specifically with rejection or abandonment. * Threatening them with vague, unstated consequences. * Using force upon them. Invalidating their feelings. * Laying undeserved guilt on them. * Placing undeserved blame on them. Dominating the conversations. * Refusing to apologize. * Always needing to have the last word. * Judging or rejecting their friends. * Sending them to their rooms for crying or saying crying is a weakness. * Locking them out of the house. Using punishments and rewards to manipulate and control them. * Invading their privacy. * Under-estimating them. * Failing to show trust in them. * Labeling them. * Criticizing them. * Giving them the silent treatment. * Failing to give them real explanations. * Giving non-explanations such as "because it is wrong" or "because it is inappropriate" or "because it is a sin" There are many more things that my mom does to me but these are just a few.. I just need to know what I can do. What should I do? more

Resolved Question: physical and mental abuse within a relationship whos to blame was she wrong?

I need some advice for a best friend who is in a great deal of emotional pain.She suffered sexual abuse as a child for 15yrs and then later in life She was in a 4yr relationship in which she suffered physical and emotional abuse at the hands of her partner. 2 years ago she was able to free herself from the relationship, and was able to move on. She met a man 10 mths later who on the outside seem to us all to be everything she needed.He started off as a friend to her who she would confide in about her childhood and her past abusive relationship, and he would confide in her about his past in which he too suffered childhood sexual abuse. He had only recently 6mths previously also lost his wife to cancer. With his help and advice she started councelling to deal with her childhood, and in hindsight now she feels that she should have continued the therapy longer to also deal with the abuse she suffered in her past relationship. During the 1st 6mths of her new relationship with this new man, he started to show signs of jealousy, and deep rooted insecurities. He never directly accused her of being unfaithful, but would make comments which insinuated she was. For example, she often used facebook site to stay in touch with the many friends she has, male and female, and would often talk to them on the site. She is a extremely beautiful woman and most men find her attractive. He would phone her and ask what she was doing and if she said she was online he would ask her who she was talking too. The tone in his voice would change in a subtle way which would make her feel uncomfortable. It got to the point where sometimes she lied for fear of upsetting him. He was always questioning her love for him and never believed he was what she wanted. She went through a very stressful time over the xmas period. Her oldest son with special needs whos behaviour was draining her emotionally and physically.Her youngest son was also diagnosed with special needs in december and her daughter disclosed she had been sexually abused by a family member.She was also very ill but didnt find out until a few weeks ago that it is M.E, on top of all this she was dealing with her new partners constant need for reassurance and ability to make her feel like he believed she was being unfaithful. All these things came at the same time over the xmas period. She spent xmas with her new partner and in hindsight now was very distant emotionally and physically with him, due to the pressures she was under. His daughter had gone away to usa for 3wks over xmas so he too was feeling lonely and depressed. They got into a few heated discussions over the xmas period about him constantly saying he was giving everything to the relationship and she was there in body but not in mind and that he thought this meant she didnt love him or didnt want him, and over his paranoia she had someone else or would find someone else. She always insisted she did love him and did want him but it wasnt enough to squash his doubts. The rows were very destructive between them and more often than not he would say things to her that her ex who physically abused her said which he had told him about. He knew what hurt her. On two ocassions she hit him. Once she punch him and gave him a black eye , the other she slapped him on the back. He has now ended the relationship, and he is playing the victim, she cant move on and I need to help her. She is taking on the role of the abuser and letting him play the victim. I dont agree with this as I feel that although she was wrong for being violent I feel he emotionally abused her with his nasty malicious words which are too hurtful to mention. I also feel he put her added to the pressures she was already under with her family. And I feel that is selfish of him. He now says that she was the selfish one not giving him what he needed from her, and that his insecurities where based on his past sexual abuse which b4 he always said wasnt a problem for him. Do you have any advice I can give her please. more

Voting Question: Any idea on young child mental illnesses?

My 6yr old daughter was diagnosed with ADHD about 3wks ago. Her Dr put her on Ritalin( a very low dose) today she took a thumbtack and used it to cut her hand all up. What scares me the most is she doesn't know why she did it only knew it hurt but continued to do it. I know this can be a side effect of the med but I also know that these kind of meds can trigger an underlying mental condition. I took her straight to our mental health in town and they gave me know answers just took a bunch of notes and told us to make an appt with her regular Dr, which I did. Her father had a history of many mental illnesses including ADHD, schizophrenia and BPD. Could this be a sign of her having schizophrenia or another illness? She also has a history of aggression towards her brother and animals and is very emotional, also can be manipulative. She has also been caught talking to herself in strange voices and answering herself back, but when you ask her she doesn't remember doing it. She has not had any sexual abuse or witnessed violent acts at home or at all to my knowledge and believe me she tells me everything this child has a huge problem keeping secrets and is well informed of what inappropriate touching is. She is always very honest if you have any info or references I can look up please let me know. I also took her off the Ritalin. more

Resolved Question: How can i get Legal help if my 1st grader was neglected by teachers in school resulting in a physical injury?

My son has been assaulted several times by a classmate. I think other children have as well. It started with the child kicking him and trying to trip him. It ended with this child banging my newly 7 year old face in a wooden cubbie causing soft tissue swelling, minor abrasions, and scrapes to his upper and lower eyelids on the right side of his face. They already have the child separated from the rest of the class. On February 12th he hit my son in the head with a stick. When my son did what he was supposed to do(by telling the teacher) he was ridiculed. and was told by the teacher not to be a tattle tell. I called the principle the following monday. He assured me that he would take care of it. What's upsetting to me the most is, the teacher nor her assistant were present in the classroom when the assault took place. After knowing this child's behavior history and attacks on the children they left the children alone in the classroom. Unsupervised This school has a history neglecting and abusing children. My son was snatched and yanked off the floor by a college student, who was a volunteer, after having permission from the head teacher to be on the floor. The college student was through a program the school was participating in. I've also witnessed a teacher grab a child, slam him against the wall, scream and holler in his face. Today i've been all over my city trying to seek justice for my 7yr old. Starting with the principle who informed me this child has been suspended several times for behavior, and he just had a meeting with the parents in regards to some other issues as well as the child hitting my child in the head with a stick. I asked for the child to be removed. I was told it was a process and that he couldn't move the child without speaking to his parents. He suggested relocating my child. I advised him my child is succeeding academically where he is and has no history of behavioral problems. He should not be moved. Especially since they only have two 1st grade teachers. The teacher who told my son to stop tattling is in the other classroom. My next step was the assistant superintendent. I went there early this morning. I wasn't able to speak with her but did leave a message with her secretary the Magistrate office was no help since the kids are minors. I went to juvenile courts who sent me to the police dept. Where the "secretary" took my information for a report. He stated that the juvenile investigators would not speak to me. I have no idea what to do. I refuse to take my child back to that school without significant changes.We instill the importance of not being violent to our children, but when someone else is violent with them repeatedly and nothing happens to them, what are they suppose to think or believe. Why should they obey the rules when you can break them and get away with them? Is that not what's happening? I can't find any Attorneys who handle cases like mine. When the school has failed to protect, supervise, and maintain the safety of my child in my absence? Which resulted in physical and emotional trauma to my child. If anyone has any information that can help me, or know of any attorneys please comment. Thank you. more

Resolved Question: How can I be more tolerant, loving and patient with sister who has extreme negativity and psych issues?

I have a 55 year old sister who acts like she has Asperger's Syndrome. She does not have it because I don't think that she was like this when she was little. She has been odd and extremely negative most of her life. She has intense social phobias and doesn't respond to social cues very well. She usually obsesses about unimportant topics and insists on having detailed conversations about them. She is very, very intelligent and opinionated and has a very hard time seeing things any one elses way. She is unmoving in her ideas. She is a hoarder to the point of her mobile home being an extreme hazard (she has tunnels going to the bathroom, etc.) She compulsively thrift shops and is constantly buying things for which she has not need for example dog toys or baby items when she doesn't have a dog or baby. She also tries to give ppl things that don't apply to their lives and my drives my children crazy by bombarding them with things that they have no interest in. This also hold true on birthdays and Christmas for example she might give a 10 year old boy a baby's board book about trucks. We have asked her not to dump stuff off at their homes but she doesn't listen and I know that she is doing it out of her form of generosity. She makes good money as a phone operator yet has had no propane (Hot water, heat or cooking abilities) because she hasn't payed the bill. Yet spends hundreds of dollars every month at the thrift shops which she goes to about three or more times per week. She has four storage units stuffed full! She is probably the most negative and painfully unhappy person that I have ever met but believes in reincarnation and would most likely have committed suicide a long time ago except she believes that she would come back as a more tortured soul. She is very tangential in her thinking and obsesses and ruminates terribly on certain topics. She is often abrasive and has no tact. She is in a perpetual state of emotional anxiety and discomfort and blames my mom for all her issues. We had a tough time growing up. My sister is the product of a rape. We moved 2 - 4 times a year and were extremely poor. Mom had emotional problems and had no parenting skills. Also she has been with her boy friend for 18 years. He refuses to marry her. He does not work and my sister pays all the bills. She has been abused in every conceivable way including a gang rape as a teenager. She has never gotten therapy because she doesn't believe that there is a problem and doesn't believe in therapy in general. I am familiar with mental health issues and know "she needs therapy" but it won't happen. So my question is I want to love her and be more tolerant of her but she makes me sick to be around her for more that a few minutes. Her voice is even loud and angry sounding most of the time. She is so miserable and I want to help. I've tried being very positive with her. I want to have more patience but she drives me insane. Then I feel guilty when I act rude toward her. I am a loving person who is known for my positive attitude and concern for people. Why can't I have more of an impact on my own sister. She has no children of her own and wanted them badly. She tries to be close to my children but they don't know what to think of her. So what else can I do? How can I find ways to express my love for her without losing my mind??? Thanks! more