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Pope apologises for priests' child sex abuse - Raw Story

Since the Irish cases emerged, abuse scandals have come to light in the pope's native Germany, Austria, the Netherlands and Switzerland, among other countries. Facts: Main child abuse scandals faced by Catholic church The scandal has also inched ...

Pope voices 'shame, remorse' for Irish child abuse - YAHOO!

Facts:Main child abuse scandals faced by Catholic church The head of the Catholic Church in Ireland, Cardinal Sean Brady, said Saturday he hoped the pope's letter could lead to "a great season of rebirth". The letter, which will be read in all Irish ...

Pope apologises for child sex abuse - Raw Story

... sexual abuse, as indeed I am ready to do in the future. "I know that nothing can undo the wrong you have endured. Your trust has been betrayed and your dignity has been violated," Benedict told victims and their families. Facts:Main child abuse ...

Patricia Casey: Psychiatrists must take share of blame ... - Independent

... interviews with paedophiles whose disclosures of child ... full facts must now be made public. This, in my opinion, includes examination of the role of mental health specialists in treating paedophiles during the years of sexual abuse by clerics ...

Pope says sorry for Irish child abuse - Zee News

One in Four wants the pope to say "clearly and unequivocally" that the church "at the highest levels" had always known about the clerical sexual abuse of children. Facts:Main child abuse scandals faced by Catholic church.

Pope prepares letter on Irish abuse amid growing anger - MSN Singapore

There is growing anger in other countries over abuse scandals dating back decades, but which are only now coming to light. Facts:Main child abuse scandals faced by Catholic church For the pope, the controversy has come close to home, with a series of ...

Merkel welcomes pPope's response to child sex abuse ... - Monsters and Critics

Berlin - Germany welcomed the pope's reaction to a wide- ranging sexual abuse scandal in his home country, a spokesman for Chancellor Angela ... even if many of the facts happened decades ago.' Merkel's spokesman said the government was, 'basically ...

Vatican defends pope, handling of child sex abuse ... - Cleveland Plain Dealer

... emerged on allegations of child ... cases of abuse of minors to the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, where they were to be subject to secrecy. While dismissing the idea that the Vatican imposed secrecy "in order to hide the facts,"

Reproductive Rights, Parental Rights, and Family ... - RH Reality Check

... alleged abusers to fight to regain control of their wives and children and fathers’ rights proponents are harming women and children trying to escape abuse. Approximately 100,000 contested child custody cases occur each year in the U.

Sex-Abuse Priest Suspended, Therapy - Post Chronicle

... diocese statement, saying: "It explains the facts, for which the general vicar of the diocese at the time, Gerhard Gruber, assumes full responsibility." The head of Germany's Catholic Church apologized to victims of child abuse by priests on ...

Open Question: My bf mistreated me and I moved away w/our baby and my older daughter, I feel very angry w/him. Is this normal?

He was often short, ugly and insecure. He would stonewall, and gaslight. He did three tours and Iraq. I have known him for seventeen years. I had no prior romantic interest in him and he put a tremendous amount of pressure on me after he was in divorce proceedings with his wife who asked for a divorce. He only got married the first time because he got her pregnant after seeing her a month, and this baby I have by him was conceived in spite of birth control and condoms. He didn't speak to his mother for over a year after she kicked out his grandchildren over issues that involved control of grandchildren a few months after he got out of the Army. When this happened she focused her anger on me. She looked up my court history that was more than ten years old and mailed it to his ex. She spoke hatefully about me in a verbose manner in an e-mail she sent him and she made sure the pre-school his children attended got a copy of this. His (now) ex-wife had cheated on him and physcially abused him. She also assumed we were romantically involved when we weren't when he was married and she sent me vulgar, hateful text messages and a year later starting harassing me via crank calls over a two day period. His mother had physically abused him as a child. I helped him care for his children and eventually he had to rent an in-law from my parents. His wife concealed an entire pregnancy from him and binge drank vodka when she was pregnant, and sought no medical attention. This was in part because of the fact she cheated -she didn't know who the father is-we still don't know and that child is almost 4. His children are troubled and he can't see it. She is a very under-involveld/neglectful mother and yet he is supportive of this and intolerant of me. I feel that I am the only "safe" person to take his resentment out on. I no longer speak to him, but I find myself very angry at him for mistreating me. I am currently seeking counseling. I don't worry about harming either one of my children. I just find myself withdrawn. I have read about emotional abuse and trauma. I have read that emotional abuse is sometimes more psychologically damaging than physical abuse because of its frequency. He was often so ugly and he would needle and needle and needle and I would finally say something hateful and ugly back to him. I don't want to be that kind of person. My older child is fairly well adjusted. She is academically gifted, adults just love talking to her and she is personable and happens to be a successful child model. I gave a lot of attention to her when she was small-I nursed extensively and spent a lot of time bonding with her. I brought her to counseling when her father was no longer in our lives-the therapist was amazed at her vocabulary by three and after some time felt my daughter was ok to move on. I was always a single mother. She is now ten. I want to be able to give attention to my baby somewhat to the degree that I did my first child(which is impossible because now I have two). I feel as if I stayed there I would be further diminished with nothing left to give my children or myself emotionally. I don't think it was wrong of me to leave the father of my child in another state. He wanted to get married-I said No. I just find myself so angry at him for mistreating me after knowing me so many years. Is it normal to feel this way? more

Open Question: how should the catholic hierachy eradicate the evil contained in its ranks?

consider an answer to the problem posted by someone below, apparently with authority to speak for the catholic hierarchy. notice that, in his eagerness to defend that same catholic hierarchy he has not word of sympathy for the abused children, nor one word of condemnation for the abusers. but first let me make my position clear. I am not anti-catholic. As a parent and a grandparent I am anti-abuse of children. I am an atheist. but you don't have to be religious or a non believer to be horrified at what has being going on in Ireland. the catholic scandal in Ireland of attempted cover ups , the buying of silence from the children's relatives, the intimidation given to the abused kids who were bullied into signing documents ensuring their silence, the religious leaders refusal to act until the police became involved, by a MINORITY of priests and cardinals WHOM THE CHILDREN TRUSTED AND LOOKED UP TO FOR SUPPORT AND PROTECTION is evil by any ones definition of the word. the poster tries to make the point that child abuse goes on in other religions. yes, I agree, it undoubtedly does, but is he trying to use this as a defence somehow for what has been happening in Ireland? what should society say then , '' ah well , these kids have been sexually abused but we choose to ignore it because it goes on in other religions'' the south of Ireland is almost exclusively catholic ergo the abuse of children in a religious situation was perpetrated almost exclusively not by rabbi's, not by the muslim imams, but by catholic priests. And this fact, unpalatable as it is, should be recognised and addressed accordingly. add to this the fact that catholic nuns and the priests have been terrifying young kids with the concept of a fiery eternal hell awaiting sinners for many years. this must the most absolute definition of irony which I have ever heard. finally the poster below tells me contemptuously to ''stop crying'' I cant help but wonder if the priests said something similar to the kids they were abusing. (this is the unchanged answer posted earlier from someone ) SEX ABUSE REPORT On February 27, professors from John Jay College of Criminal Justice in New York City released a report on priestly sexual abuse since 1950. In anticipation of the report, the Catholic League prepared its own report; it was released in early February. The complete document is reprinted in this edition of Catalyst. The Catholic League strongly believes that no reasonable discussion of this issue can take place absent comparative data. What good does it do, we ask, to discuss sexual misconduct among priests if we don't have data on ministers, rabbis, psychologists, coaches, public school teachers and others? The Special Report, Sexual Abuse in Social Context: Catholic Clergy and Other Professionals, does not excuse wrongdoing by priests or bishops. What it seeks to understand is how widespread the problem of sexual abuse is. In doing so, it directs the conversation away from an isolated look at priests and towards a more realistic examination of the problem. The report was sent to every bishop in the U.S. and to every major media outlet in the nation. The president of the United States Catholic Conference of Bishops, Bishop Wilton Gregory, thanked William Donohue for writing the report. The initial reaction to the report has been encouraging. Many priests feel that they have been under siege in recent times: they resent being singled out for scrutiny. That is why so many of them are pleased with this report—it helps to stop the scapegoating that has been taking place. http://www.catholicleague.org/catalyst.p… CATHOLIC LEAGUE ISSUES SPECIAL REPORT - SEXUAL ABUSE IN SOCIAL CONTEXT: CATHOLIC CLERGY AND OTHER PROFESSIONALS http://www.catholicleague.org/release.ph… HYSTERIA OVER IRISH CLERGY ABUSE http://www.catholicleague.org/catalyst.p… REPORTS ON PRIESTLY SEXUAL ABUSE WELCOMED http://www.catholicleague.org/release.ph… CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE COVER-UP http://www.catholicleague.org/catalyst.p… TOLERATING SEXUAL ABUSE IN THE PUBLIC SCHOOLS http://www.catholicleague.org/catalyst.p… If you get a question deleted, appeal it and it will be reinstated if no rules are violated and the reporters will lose their influence. Quit your crying and stop double scapegoating Catholics. . Source(s): http://www.catholicleague.org/search.php * 50 minutes ago more

Resolved Question: Please. I beg of you. Help me! I'm in so much pain. So much.?

I'm so sorry for the length. I guess i am as useless of a writer as i am a person. Please help. I just want to die. It's been a month and 5 days since my boyfriend of 9 months dumped me. Do the math. It was Valentine's Day. I feel like I lost myself with him. Later, I found out that he had oral sex with another girl while we were going out. He said he would never hurt me, and that he would respect me. He was emotionally abusive torwards, the end, he would pressure me into stuff i didn't want to do sometimes, even though he knew i have PTSD from being sexually abused. He almost got me to have sex with him. He implied that it was the only way for me to earn his love, and have never known love as a child much, i fell for it. Now i check his myspace, which I know probably isn't healthy, and the girl he had oral with is his top friend. It may seem really stalker-ish, but i followed the link to his brother's myspace, and it made me even more depressed. I don't know why. I never had a thing for his brother, but just hearing his name depresses me. It's not like we were friends, beacause he hates me. I feel like by loosing my ex, i have lost myself. I feel as if i have no reason to live. If it weren't for the fact that i am affraid of burning in eternal hell, I would kill myself now. I want him to know how bad I am hurting, how miserable this pain feels, but everytime i try to express it to him, he gets mad at me, and we end up telling eachother off and then he hates me even more. I feel hopeless, lost. I feel ugly, and i hate myself. I feel talentless, and unloved. I want to cut, but I don't want to hurt my friend, Feild, if i get cought and sent to looney bin. I want him to know how much pain I am in. I want the pain to stop. I want to know what exactly is happening, so i can fix it. The wonderfull memories we had together, are painfull now. The bad memories, feel worse. For example, one time, he kissed me, and i tried to turn my head away, but he grabbed my face, so i couldn't let go. I hate that memory, but it won't go away. I keep on thinking about the good times, and "what if's". Please help me. I am in so much unbearable pain, there is only one solution to this problem. And i don't want to have to take it. more

Resolved Question: Please. Please. Help me make the pain stop.?

I'm so sorry for the length. I guess i am as useless of a writer as i am a person. Please help. I just want to die. It's been a month and 5 days since my boyfriend of 9 months dumped me. Do the math. It was Valentine's Day. I feel like I lost myself with him. Later, I found out that he had oral sex with another girl while we were going out. He said he would never hurt me, and that he would respect me. He was emotionally abusive torwards, the end, he would pressure me into stuff i didn't want to do sometimes, even though he knew i have PTSD from being emotionally abused. He almost got me to have sex with him. He implied that it was the only way for me to earn his love, and have never known love as a child much, i fell for it. Now i check his myspace, which I know probably isn't healthy, and the girl he had oral with is his top friend. It may seem really stalker-ish, but i followed the link to his brother's myspace, and it made me even more depressed. I don't know why. I never had a thing for his brother, but just hearing his name depresses me. It's not like we were friends, beacause he hates me. I feel like by loosing my ex, i have lost myself. I feel as if i have no reason to live. If it weren't for the fact that i am affraid of burning in eternal hell, I would kill myself now. I want him to know how bad I am hurting, how miserable this pain feels, but everytime i try to express it to him, he gets mad at me, and we end up telling eachother off and then he hates me even more. I feel hopeless, lost. I feel ugly, and i hate myself. I feel talentless, and unloved. I want to cut, but I don't want to hurt my friend, Feild, if i get cought and sent to looney bin. I want him to know how much pain I am in. I want the pain to stop. I want to know what exactly is happening, so i can fix it. The wonderfull memories we had together, are painfull now. The bad memories, feel worse. For example, one time, he kissed me, and i tried to turn my head away, but he grabbed my face, so i couldn't let go. I hate that memory, but it won't go away. I keep on thinking about the good times, and "what if's". Please help me. I am in so much unbearable pain, there is only one solution to this problem. And i don't want to have to take it.Earlier, when i said PTSD from being emotionally abused, i mean sexually. Brain fart. Sorry. more

Open Question: I'm seriously heart broken. I have mental issues, and i just want to die.?

I'm so sorry for the length. I guess i am as useless of a writer as i am a person. Please help. I just want to die. It's been a month and 5 days since my boyfriend of 9 months dumped me. Do the math. It was Valentine's Day. I feel like I lost myself with him. Later, I found out that he had oral sex with another girl while we were going out. He said he would never hurt me, and that he would respect me. He was emotionally abusive torwards, the end, he would pressure me into stuff i didn't want to do sometimes, even though he knew i have PTSD from being emotionally abused. He almost got me to have sex with him. He implied that it was the only way for me to earn his love, and have never known love as a child much, i fell for it. Now i check his myspace, which I know probably isn't healthy, and the girl he had oral with is his top friend. It may seem really stalker-ish, but i followed the link to his brother's myspace, and it made me even more depressed. I don't know why. I never had a thing for his brother, but just hearing his name depresses me. It's not like we were friends, beacause he hates me. I feel like by loosing my ex, i have lost myself. I feel as if i have no reason to live. If it weren't for the fact that i am affraid of burning in eternal hell, I would kill myself now. I want him to know how bad I am hurting, how miserable this pain feels, but everytime i try to express it to him, he gets mad at me, and we end up telling eachother off and then he hates me even more. I feel hopeless, lost. I feel ugly, and i hate myself. I feel talentless, and unloved. I want to cut, but I don't want to hurt my friend, Feild, if i get cought and sent to looney bin. I want him to know how much pain I am in. I want the pain to stop. I want to know what exactly is happening, so i can fix it. The wonderfull memories we had together, are painfull now. The bad memories, feel worse. For example, one time, he kissed me, and i tried to turn my head away, but he grabbed my face, so i couldn't let go. I hate that memory, but it won't go away. I keep on thinking about the good times, and "what if's". Please help me. I am in so much unbearable pain, there is only one solution to this problem. And i don't want to have to take it. more

Open Question: should I finally tell my mom about the abuse?

ok, as a child and into my early preteen years my father sexually and sometimes physically abused me. I don't want to get into details, but the abuse was very real, although I have tried not to let it affect my life. My mother doesn't know about the abuse, because I've never gotten up the courage to tell her, and i feel like in some way since it stopped quite awhile ago (i'm 18 now) i should maybe just forget about it and move on. but here's the thing. I hate my father. I don't like talking to him, being near him, or anything, so i avoid being home at all costs and my mom doesnt get why and it hurts her feelings that im never home. even though my father is a jerk to her, and she knows i don't like him, but she still doesnt know WHY i don't like him, other than the fact that he is simply a selfish bas***d who cares for nobody but himself. my mother is very very unhappy with their marriage, and is considering divorce possibly, which i whole heartedly would support because she doesn't deserve to be treated like s**t. I'm wondering if telling her about the abuse would finally give her the courage and push she needs to get herself out of their poisonous marriage. What do you guys think? I really need some major advice on this one. more

Open Question: How can I Anonymously Report a Suspected Child Groomer? (aus)?

I think i've stumbled across what could be a child groomer. I had a whole course on them at school, and some guy added my friend (girl) and she told me about it, he was abusing her and stuff, so I added him posing as a girl giving him s#!t all info about myself. After i gained a little trust, first thing he asked was, "U got a webcam" "no" "aww, I was hoping to see you naked". I'm sure, he's not safe... I mean, he could be fine, but. My parents won't take it lightly if I tell them, in fact, they'd probably ban me from the internet all together... so, Is there some way of anonymously reporting this guy to the cops without any hassle? (In Australia) Thanks TaeHe started to ask me all these sexual questions, convinced I was a girl... so... I told him I needed to knock off and stuff... more

Resolved Question: Help..I'm 23 and my father has always abused me, and he continues but now i'm losing my mothers friendship...?

Okay, So this is going to be a bit long, but it's been bothering me for 23 years... My father is abusive. Mentally, physically, AND emotionally you name the issue he's definitely got it. As a child my father would beat me, for stupid reason like talking to my male karate teacher at the age of 12. Or because he caught me sucking my thumb. These were reasons for him to give me black eyes and beat me with a belt. Now, my mother was also abused by my father in the same ways I was. I was an only child until the age of 8, my mother then had my 2 sisters. My father gave me beatings until i was at least 18 years old but never touched my sisters. Not even a slap on the hand NOTHING. I continued to receive the abuse in every form, while my sisters received a total different treatment. My mother wouldn't be able to buy me things he would totally flip, so she would buy me things without him knowing. My sisters on the other hand never missed a shopping spree. Now when i reached the age of 20 i was helping him with his business and one night i asked for a day off (saturday) so that i could spend time with my boyfriend (now fiance) and he said fine. He called me off the hook for an hour (every time i went out he rang up my phone and would demand i come home) because he wanted me to go and help (he owns a bar) and i said i'm out, i'm in the middle of my outing i cannot leave. Well he harrassed me to the point where i went to the bar to help. He insulted me in front of at least 50 customers, and that is\ where i drew the line. It was something small but at that point i had enough. So i went home packed up my stuff and took off. 3 years later i'm still on my own living with my fiance, and my father is still mentally and emotionally abusive. I mention it to my mother, she says i'm way too sensitive (we even get into huge fights about it) she constantly throws in my face the fact that i left without warning, but yet i'm still getting abused doesn't she see this? Instead of saying hi, he says "boy you got fat" or "you need to come work with me lose some weight" or he turns to my mother and tells her i don't give a shit about her and thats why i left he calls my fiance garbage, tells people i'm lazy, he constantly throws in my face that i "f'd up my life" mind you, my mother sees all of this and her response is "you always complain about your life, your never happy, why don't you try appreciating something for once" "why don't you find a new family if you're not happy with this one" comments like this make me FUME and naturally i FREAK. How is it that i have 2 sisters and they get treated like princesses, and i get treated like shit. I raised my sisters for most of their young years due to my parents starting up a new business, i got black eyes, beaten, made fun of, and put down and my sisters never even got a slap on the wrist. Now i'm not saying that i would like them to be abused but why not treat me the same way he treats them. I will also add that the abuse against my mother stopped when i was 18 (my sisters were then old enough to understand) i had to save my mother from a bleeding mouth black eye and dislocated jaw (more than once) while i suffered my own pain. Not to mention he screws anything that has legs besides my mother and she is 100% aware of it, and does not care. He knows she's aware of it as well. I can't even go out with her to the mall or watch a movie with her at home my father will ruin the occasion. he goes as far as purposly coming home turning off the tv and falling asleep on the couch. Just so i leave she tells me all the time "don't tell your dad you were here or that we went out cause he'll get jealous" JEALOUS MY A**. Sick isn't it, thats why i'm on my own. Now that you have a little background here is my problem, lately i have been voicing how i feel and that i don't like being treated this way, he still treats me like complete garbage he'll pass by me and won't even say hi when i did nothing, he uses me when he needs me then goes back to the same abuse. Should i keep defending myself, or should i just not say anything. Everytime i bring up the issue it ends up in a HUGE fight with my mother cause she thinks i'm just "ungreatful and miserable" and that i have "nothing good to say even about my own family". In the end i end up feeling really shitty and low, and end up apologizing. But why? i didn't do anything wrong. Please help, i feel like i'm going looney. I can't even distinguish right from wrong anymore. more

Open Question: Why Do I Hate Immature Kids?

I would just like to say that I greatly have a "thing" against immature children. Children more likely I am referring to are about the ages of 10-13; so preteens. By immature I mean kids who start and end their day not wondering and actually having an interest about the world. More specifically, those people who do not let curiosity take hold of them self. I, on the other hand, wonder everyday, what will happen today? Could it be something harming my family or I? Who will get hurt? Why it happened? And also the very last thing stumbles me, could it be the start of the end of the world? With all the natural disasters happening, ie/ the Haiti earthquake, Hawaii hurricane warning, so on and watching the movie "2010"; I cannot stop but wonder, could the end really be here. I have done a speech about the 2010 disaster possibility, but I do not think anyone even cared. It is like they just zoomed out and where the speech that really took interest of them self was about wrestling and nail polish. I have included many important details like proof, where it all began, and Alot of short, quick important info. I have been graded a C+. I though to myself while scanning through my written copy, "What happened?, Have I picked the wrong topic aappropriatefor my audience? Should I have picken apples? Coffee? Computers? Tissue boxes? I feel I should also add my audience was a class of 5/6th graders at a Catholic school. The reason for my awful grade could also lead to the name of the school. St. Philip "Catholic" Elementary School; it was a Catholic school and with them aalready believing that God created the universe. For using the term "God" I obviously refer to the Catholic belief and do not have the name of "God". But auctually I am also Catholic, but not exactly doubt wether or not he created but wonder would be it. So now, back to my point; I am not sure about you but I find them soo disgusting that I almost want to puke. When ever I see one behave I have this sort of dirty look, kind of a stare that is observing their behaviour. It is repulsive to watch one of them. I remember being told when I was in 5th grade by my mother and teacher that I was soo mature, maybe too mature in fact. My teacher though I was just trying to be cool but while the cool kids when no where near mature. Its ironic though that I was also immature from time to time. At home I would tease my brother and talk back to my mother almost like I was belittling them. I was not being a smart ass but more like to prefer it to "telling the truth". My dad left the country to his home land for a month because my parents were arguing on wheter or not my mother had cheater. The issue grw greatly into turning into signs of a disorder. So leaving us all alone without us even prepared. That maybe could lead to me becoming immature, maybe by showing my anger verbally by "telling the truth". Like for example, when my mom confronts me about my father acting crazy, I respond rudely "Then why don't you do something about it, you're so weak and such a push over!" It was the only thing that crossed my mind and had to come out, with my aunt on my dad's side and grandma on my mother's side also being or been abused. Both emotionally, I though my mother; who has grown up watching my loving and giving grandmother being cheated on would do something. I remember her saying something about never taking the crap my grandmother took. That made a shock in my head, I was almost stunned of what a hypocrite my mom was. Also something I also hate are liars, I guess it is because I love the truth. The naked truth was my friend and I always knew what people were thinking about. I could almost "mind read". During school I am scared, because I was a complete loser at my new school. I am in a split class, me being int he oldest grade and there is only one other girl in my grade who was also new to the school. I hated her and I thought about how disgusting she is. What a huge liar, she probably lied about her whole life. Some things she told me are.......... * Her parents are divorced and her mom got stabbed by her drunk dad one night. That I auctally may believe. *She is a medium so meaning she sees ghost and communicates with them. I am forced running around with her spreading my scent around the playground during recess because she claims that a dude named "master medium" is going to kill me for knowing. *This is also linked to the medium thing, she is like couple hundreds of years old. *Her friend died while jumping on a loose sewer drain at our school during her "past life". *She goes to dance class. I know that it does not seem like a big deal but then I'm stuck doing our partner work together by myself at home because she claims to have it after school. *Shes been kissed before on the cheek by this boy in her old school. And also alot of other crap but the list would be too long. I though everyday when she lies, what a bitch, it drives me soFor my last sentence I correct "add".Alot of my writing was cut off due to the number of characters, so I will just give a quick summary about my other 3 paragraphs. I included my other two friends a grade younger than me and their behaviour. Also a gifted genius at my old school who I feel I really connected with through point of view. Also just to add, as an 11 year old girl, why do i feel this way?Also to "Not Of This World", so what I hate about myself is how I am soo immature?To Ace13, I guess, but I cannot help but wonder what is going to happen. I just feel like these kids are such retards. Like they do not care about anything. more

Resolved Question: why do i seek the approval of my father who hates me?

since i was 12 my father has hated me, now my sister is 13 n she is suffering the same way that i did. i see her try so hard but he just looks at her with disgust. i see how sad she is n the look of hurt when he is mean to her, i fear he is damaging her, she has no feelings of self worth.I am 23 n i still hold onto any shred of love i get from him then feel like a freak after for falling for his game. i know he cant change but i still try.he is a cold mean man who sees nothing but fault in me although i would be classed as successful. He has called me obese since childhood although i was never a fat child, he insults any gift i give him for christmas then calls me a bitch if i dont give him anything, he comes to my house for family dinners and insults the food i cook although i am an amazing cook n its my passion, he insults it cos he knows it will hurt, his snide remarks never stop, he said maybe the reason my ex partner attacked me one day n strangled me till i was out cold was because i brought it on myself, i was the perfect girlfriend n my ex partner had abused every gf before me it was later found.a father does not say such things, he has no emotional or fatherly bond at all towards me. when my mum wanted to help me move out while he was at work she had to fight with him to be able too. he wanted to leave me there.he took the side of my abuser instead of being my protector and said "maybe he was trying to beat some sense into you".i fear my distrust of him affects my current relationship. I am fearful of my partner although he has done nothing wrong.he tries to keep my mum all to himself n is jealous if she spends time with anyone but him. He went so far today as finding fault in the fact i made him a sandwich for lunch, his snide remark was "you probably just got your mother to do it dont lie" and "you forgot the pepper, how can i eat it now" although i have never lied before, he has no reason to hate me. He accuses me of breaking the cheek bone of my sister when i was 11, although there was never a break just a bruise when i was cleaning up her room n chucked a toy in the toybox next to her n got her. i didnt even see her there as i have awful eyesight n my glasses were being fixed at the optomitrist, it was a complete accident. why would i hurt my baby sister if i was cleaning up her room n decorating it as children do. but he still mentions it today. i love my sister and i dont want her being damaged goods like me. no one knows of our problems, we put the happy smile on n act like everything is ok but its not. i tried so hard to move away from this, meeting a man n moving overseas with him only to have him turn into an abuser. he blames me n says he thought he had finally gotten rid of meps patricia, i am 23. i do not live with my parents n i am not unemployed as was your assumption. i have not lived with my parents since i was 18 and i work fulltimehe has a bad relationship with his mum n dad, very cold stuck up ppl more

Voting Question: My brother is making my parents ill?

Well I'm 18 years old and I live at home with my parents still in between going to work. My parents are both pretty ill even though they aren't that old. (Both in their 40's) My mom suffers from MS and my dad suffers from epilepsy and just got over a mild stroke. My brother is almost 15 years old and is making them more sick from stress. This year is his first year of high school and he has only attended 4 days in the entire year. I'm not one to talk considering I didn't finish high school but that is just ridiculous for the first year in my opinion. On top of that he is in a special school because he has "add" or "adhd" (I'm not sure which one). Not going to school is bad enough but the fact is he isn't really skipping, he just stays home. Everyday is a new battle with him. I wake up for work around the same time my parents attempt to wake him up for school, so I try to help out. He spits in my parents face and physically assaults them both everyday. Although he tries to start with me too I don't hit him because he is just to young and would probably have me charged if I did touch him. Everyday he says that he will go to school tomorrow. But we all know tomorrow never comes, so yeah. While at home he just sits around and tells my mom he's going to become a drug dealer, hes going to be a "hustler", etc, etc... So it obviously concerns her and she tells him that if he doesn't straighten up he will be going to a juvenile delinquent center. The thing is he has been sent there 4 times and each time they only keep him for 3 day periods in which my parents have to visit him everyday. First of all.. 3 days? He will not straighten up in 3 day periods that is ridiculous. It is also a problem for my parents to get there everyday because they are ill. I just don't know what to do anymore. He abuses our even younger brother a lot and my parents can't discipline him at all or he will abuse them too. He has even started telling my mother that he will cut her throat.. and he tried to suffocate her with a pillow. (Only got him 3 days in juvi, dumb huh?) He punches my dad in the face and stomps on our little brother. Lately he has been trying to blackmail my mother telling her that if she gets him taken away again that he will call the child services and have our younger brother taken away because we don't have a lot of money. I'm tired of watching my family suffer because of him. What can I do? PS. Sorry for the wall of text. more

Resolved Question: Why would an 11 year old create a profile on a sex site?

I work with an 11 year old. I just found out she made a profile on a sex website. This website is for the purpose of meeting people for sex. She has no history of sexual abuse that we know of. She shows no signs of being sexually abused (excessive/public masturbation, preoccupation with sex, etc). I know she has low self esteem and her mother can be quite abusive verbally. I can understand a child's curiosity to look at porn, especially when unsupervised. And I can understand her need for attention and love. But why would an 11 year old sign up for a site for the purpose of meeting strangers for random sex? She gets lots of positive attention (although sometimes negative) from her family. And I spend six hours per week 1:1 with her, giving her positive attention and hugs. But it always seems that no matter how much attention she gets, it is NEVER enough. And now ashe is seeking to meet her needs in other ways. We realize that we need to monitor her more closely on the computer. But what are we missing? Is there some other, deep seeded issue? The fact that she would sneak onto the computer while her parents are sleeping, lie about her age, and actively seek out sex seems like she has been scheming to do this for a while. When confronted about it, she denied everything, even though there was indisputable proof staring her in the face. She has a whole treatment team to protect her and help her, so that she will have less problems in the future. But it makes me think about a suicidal person who wants to run into traffic. We can hold the person back, and do everything we can to convince/prevent the person from doing it. But if their heart is set on it, they will find a way to do it. We can't watch her 24/7 forever. How do we get to the root? more

Voting Question: what do you think of my book characters?

Ok, I know this is INSANELY long, sorry about that! If you’re extremely bored, read it all, if not, skim…just answer . 10 points to the best! My book tells the story of a dysfunctional family. All of the following characters are brothers and sisters…their father was kicked out of the house eight years ago, but Kaylee, the main character, is 15. She has a fatal heart condition, one that will end her life in a matter of months, all because her mother did drugs while she was pregnant with her, but she doesn’t hold it against her. Her personal philosophy in life is that since she has such a short time to live, she shouldn’t waste it being angry about things she can’t change. She tries to project an attitude of positivity, to set an example for her younger (and older) siblings, she tries to be brave and never negative, but the truth is, she’s sort of a hypocrite. She preaches all that stuff about being positive and “living in the moment,” but inside, she’s scared and mad about all the bad things that seem to get piled on her and her family. She just wants ANSWERS, and that’s the one thing her family doesn’t seem to have. She’s doing her best, though, to figure out herself and her family and fix everything before it’s too late…for all of them (She’s the most socially normal of them…she has a boyfriend and a few other friends, but she doesn’t know how to break the news of her disease to them). Daniel is 19. His fatal flaw, the problem that’s weighed down on him his entire life, is that he thinks of everyone else before himself—maybe that’s because he never had any time to think about himself. Ever since he was little, he’s had to take care of his younger siblings and even his mother. He was 11 when his father got kicked out of the house, so he remembers those terrible days all too well, and he realizes how his much his mother needs taking care of—maybe even as much as her children. He supported his whole family emotionally—and financially, once he got a little older—his whole life, and now that he’s 19, he wants a chance to start a “new life,” one where he’s allowed to think of his own needs for a change. But although things have been getting much better at home lately, he’s afraid that the second he leaves, the second he’s not there to fix it, everything is going to collapse again. And it will be all his fault. Niles is 17. Ever since he was little, he’s had a huge anger management problem. It’s always getting him in trouble at school and at home. He always says or does things that he can’t take back, no matter how much he apologizes (He has a reputation of being a real loose cannon, and hardly any friends due to his hostility). Lately, he’s been getting counseling for his problem, but ever since his mom’s new boyfriend introduced him to crack, it’s been nearly impossible to control himself. He’s terrified of turning out just like his father—he even hit his girlfriend a few times, although he apologized a million times afterwards—but there doesn’t seem to be anything he can do about it. Russell and Riley are 14 (they’re identical twins). They are the outsiders of the family. If it weren’t for everything that went on around them at home, the random outbursts of anger, their negligent mother, the abuse from their father when they were little, the fact that their sister is going to die soon and there’s nothing they can do about it, well…they’d probably be pretty normal. They’ve always been unnaturally close, partly because the only people they can really rely on are each other, but now they’re being teased at school, harassed about being gay. They always act really tough, but the truth is, they want to do something to fix their family, and there’s nothing they can do, so they just close their eyes to it all. Sydney is 12. She’s constantly harassed at school about her family…her absent father, her druggie mother, her crazy brother, and her “gay” brothers…she’s always been defiantly different, but she has no friends and no one to turn to at home, so she’s very depressed…also, she’s being stalked online by someone who turns out to be her father, trying to get revenge on the family. She doesn’t know this, however, and that combined with her depression causes her to attempt suicide…she’s saved, however, by her mom’s new boyfriend, the one that caused so many problems for her family in the first place… Sam is 8. He’s young, innocent, and he thinks his family is perfectly normal. That’s pretty much all there is to say about him as of now…I’ll be thinking of more… What do you think? Do you like my characters, and what about their names? Does anyone have any ideas concerning what could make Sam more interesting, or the twins? I really think they need more to them…thanks! All feedback is greatly appreciated! more

Resolved Question: Should I quit my job because of my boss' unfair and unethical behaviors?

I work in a daycare, caring for children who range in age from 3 months to 5 years old. Two of my coworkers are parents of an infant currently in the daycare. Lately, they have been making allegations of abuse towards another coworker of mine, whom I have worked with for a long time and whom I know would never harm a child. She is the most educated person on staff and the most experienced, especially with infants-- she was a director at another daycare center as well. The only reason I am involved in this situation is that I have been called twice to give testimony on whether or not there is abuse going on. The second time I was called, I was asked by my boss to write up an evaluation of my fellow workers who work in that room--something that I find to be highly unethical considering that we do not do peer reviews and essentially I would be acting as a 'spy' for upper management. She also asked me if the mother of the baby was in the room too much to breastfeed. I said I couldn't judge that, I have no children and I don't know what sort of a feeding schedule the mother wanted to do. My boss told me outright she thinks the mother is in there too much. I wanted to be diplomatic, so I didn't outright agree, even though I have personally stayed overtime to cover for the mother when she wanted to breastfeed, or have allowed her to step out of the room and leave me alone caring for the children in her room so she could do so. The situation, which has stretched two weeks now, came to a head on Friday. The father of the child walked off the job in an angry fashion after a yelling match with my boss, taking his child with him. He had left me alone with 17 children in our preschool room, which is obviously not within ratio whatsoever, to storm into the office in the first place and then decides to walk off the job entirely. The mother of the baby made a big show of pleading him to come back on her cellphone. He eventually did return, but still left earlier that day, making it so another worker had to do his duties of closing up the classroom. Despite their rather childish displays, these two got what they wanted. The other worker that they accused (without any evidence to back up their claim) of abuse, was fired. And the father of the child was allowed to keep his job, despite the anger he showed while in a center full of children and despite the fact that he disrespected the boss and despite the fact that he basically walked off the job and didn't seem to care about the children he was hired to care for whatsoever. I have written up the review that my boss asked me to write up. However, I am considering my feelings on the situation and I don't think I can work for someone who rewards bad behavior and punishes the innocent like she does. I want to make a stand against what I perceive to be a gross injustice, but I do not want to make it a dramatic display like the father of the child did. And I want my boss to know my displeasure at the fact that she completely disregarded the two positive testimonies I gave her on the subject of this coworker she fired. It's my intention to tell her how I feel, honestly, about the situation, suggest what she could do to rectify it and then let her know that if the situation isn't resolved fairly that she can consider this my two weeks' notice. Any advice on how to be diplomatic about this, or whether or not it will make a difference, or if I even should follow through with what I've planned to do... anything, would be appreciated. I'm not nervous or scared about discussing this with her-- I just want feedback from people who have been in similar situations, especially the outcomes of making such a stand. Thank you very much for any help, it is appreciated. :) more

Voting Question: half-brother is the devil...how can i write him out of my life? i really hope he reads this someday!?

to come right to the point i disowned my half-brother last august because i was tired of being ridiculed and called names and i was tired of walking on eggshells throughout the entire relationship. i mean he was the type of person who just has so much self-hatred and it radiates and he finds he has to put everyone down to bring himself back up and i just wasnt going to be a part of it anymore. to explain a little more about him i will say that he is a very rude and disrespectful person, emotionally abuses his own wife as well as our mother. he has never stepped in to help anyone in the family and thinks that the world owes him everything. just a downright awful person. to sum it all up he is 31 years old and doesnt even support his own family just sits on his ass all day and bitches about not having a job. it seems as though ever since i thought i cut him out of my life he has been trying to get back at me. he hacked into my computer and my email and sent awful messages to my mother saying that they were from me. on my last birthday he talked a lot of shit and started a fight between my mother and me. he gets jealous whenever my mother spends time with me and mom is afraid of him and so will stop talking to me for awhile whenever he makes a comment like, so your spending a lot of time with *my name* now huh?" he acts so childish. when i was growing up he threw a fit whenever my parents bought me something that he didnt have and they always gave in to him. keep in mind he is 8 years older than me and so his behaviour is pathetic. last month when i was giving birth to my daughter and my mother was there he showed up at the hospital not to see me but to see his friend's wife who was also there having her baby and made sure my mother told me he was there but that he didnt want to see me to try and hurt me. he also waited until that day to tell my mother that his wife was expecting even though he has no job and they have no place to live that is their own. my mother and i both believe she got pregnant for attention since he saw how much attention my mother was giving me throughout my pregnancy he wanted to take it from me. the fact that he waited until the day i gave birth to tell her only makes me think he wanted to rain on my parade. i tried not to let it bother me but i was hurt. i felt like a child who's birthday presents got pissed on at her own birthday party! my parents gave this ungrateful ingrate everything yet the only respect he gives out mother is calling her a lazy ass bitch and that he isnt surprised our stepfather left her sorry ass.( my mom and stepfather are getting a divorce). he treats our mother like shit and always has and yet she gives into him because she is afraid of him because he threatens not to allow her to see her grandchildren if she doesnt do what he wants. mom has told me so. i hate him so much and just want his ass out of my life but it seems like every oppurtunity he gets he tries to hurt me. i mean he has even told our mother he wishes she would go kill herself thats how sick and demented this person is. it seems like the only way i can stop hearing about him is to stop talking to my mother but i dont want to do that. what do i do? how do you get rid of someone like this? more

Resolved Question: Are the leftists in other parts of the state the same as the ones here in Ca? (real question by the way)?

Having lived in California for a long time I am quite familiar with the top priorities and concerns of those on the left side of the political spectrum in California. Their top policy priorities are gay marriage,immigration, legalize weed, and abortion. I know what your thinking "isn't abortion already legal and widely available in CA?", yes it is, in Ca at any rate the battle is whether children (17 under) should have the ability to get an abortion without their parent's knowledge or consent. If you noticed, none of which directly deals with economic or fiscal stances, let alone wanting to improve existing infrastructure with making the system more honest and less vulnerable to abuse, items and policies which I have take great interest in and have written about. This is probably one of the main reasons why I have never messed well with democrats, simple due to the fact that we aren't even interesting in the same set of issues. But I do hear many references from those out of state of "california liberals" or "san francisco liberal" which implies that these segments might be different from other liberals in different states. Since my extensive observations are limited to California, I am curious if the top issue are different with the left in other states than over here in California. I also want to make note that I know that there are liberals in California who don't share all those posistions and there are some that have fiscal concerns, but by and large it isn't made big by the larger collective. So anyways, liberals, not your specific concerns, but what is your take on the top concerns of your state within the liberal collective at large? That you for your time.sorry for any spelling errorslol and grammar errors, I already caught a few. more

Resolved Question: Why does every one make such a big deal over the prophet Muhammed marrying aisha?

This one is for christians.Christians use cultural relativity to justify the Bible's atrocities but they have problems when Muslims use it to justify prophet Muhammed's marrige with aisha. One of the most common polemic thrown against Islam is the prophet Muhammad’s marriage to Abu Bakr’s daughter Aisha. The Anti-Islamic’s claim that the marriage was very wrong due to Aisha’s young age. Joseph was 90 years old when he married 12 -year old Mary! Was Joseph also a pedophile? If the marriage was so wrong, then why didn’t Aisha’s mother object to the marriage? Instead she happily gave Aisha for marriage, and prepared her for the marriage 2- Why didn’t Abu bakr the father of Aisha object to the marriage? If it was so wrong you would expect the father to have not allowed such a marriage to take place. 3- Why did the women who were present with Aisha when she was about to be given to the prophet for marriage wished her luck and were happy for her. If the marriage was wrong, the women present would have been sad, and they would not have been happy for Aisha, rather what we see is that they were happy for Aisha and had no problems with this marriage whatsoever. 4- Are we supposed to assume that Abu Bakr, and Aisha’s mother, and the women present with Aisha are all pedophiles and child molesters? Indeed such a conclusion with be very ignorant, and arrogant. 5- Why didn’t any of the prophet’s enemies use this against the prophet Muhammad? If the marriage was so wrong, then you would expect to find his enemies to be the first ones to start using this against him, instead what we find is that his enemies NEVER EVEN ONCE brought this marriage up in a negative way against him. 6- In fact why didn’t any of the Arabs around the Hijazi area object or talk against this marriage? It was not only the pagan Arabs in Hijaz who didn’t object to this marriage, but the surrounding Arabs didn’t object to it neither! 7- Are we to assume that ALL these Arabs were pedophiles and child molesters? Indeed such a conclusion would make the one making this conclusion a very stupid man, because only a very stupid arrogant man would accuse an entire race of being child molesters and pedophiles. 8- Why is there not a SINGLE hadith from Aisha showing her being displeased of the marriage? Why is there not one hadith from Aisha showing her to be like a victim, instead when you look at Aisha you find no symptoms of a victim. She became a great leader for Islam, a great scholar for Islam who would teach about Islam to many men. Does this seem to be the symptoms of someone who has been abused? 9-If Aisha was indeed a victim and so on, then why did she love the prophet Muhammad so much, and would sometimes get jelous around him because she loved him so much, does this sound like someone who is a victim? 10- from all the hadith literature we have, we can confidently say that if Aisha was alive today, that she would distance herself from these Christians making these sick arguments, and that she would want nothing to do with these people, this in itself speaks volumes since these people making this sick argument are supposed to be the good guys who are trying to be helpful. All these points made here are enough to refute the Anti-Islamic’s entire position, and they themselves know this. I could show more points, showing that the age of marriage in the past used to be at a very young age, something history agrees with, but these Anti-Islamic’s are so hate filled and arrogant they will say ALL OF HISTORY is wrong but only today in our modern world we are right.No one was against the marrige,there isnt a single reliable hadis which condems prophet Muhammed for this.Only now do christians come up with this argumentmeasure their life against? Aisha was the daughter of a wealthy trader ,Abu Bakr.PURCHASED AISHA,YOU guys are funny....... more

Resolved Question: How can I work with people who hate me and keep my mouth shut when I want to defend myself?

It's a bit of a long story, but please read and answer if you can…I have supervised 3 women for about the last 5 years and we got along well for most of that. I became really close friends with one of them and didn't know that for some time now she's been unhappy with me and was talking badly about me to the other workers, who started acting weird and disrespectful with me. She apparently thought that I was jealous of her and didn't like seeing her have good things (her own words), which is ridiculous. She must have forgotten that I helped sponsor her husband for immigration so that she could have a good thing, the man she loves. Also, I helped her with things for school so that she could become a teacher. People who don't want you to have good things don't help you to better your life that way. The only things she has that she could accuse me of being jealous of are that she is married and I was single until very recently, and also she had her mother help buy her a house. I guess she thinks that because I have complained in the past about feeling lonely that I was jealous of her having someone. As for the house, sure I want to buy one someday but how does that mean I'm jealous? Plus she allows her mother to emotionally abuse her children because she buys her things like that house, and clothes, and recently she gave her a car. I personally would rather live in a shack than pay the price of having my kids be mistreated. So why the hell would I be jealous? She also said that I make "hidden comments" that are negative towards her. But I have heard her read falsely into what other people say and do a million times. For example, when she was buying her house she thought that when people asked her how it was going that they only wanted to know so that they could gloat if it fell through. She also thought another coworker was jealous because the coworker's new house was smaller than hers. Plus she thinks that another coworker tries to "one-up" her by talking about her family's money. For the hidden comments, one of them was when her daughter came to my daughter's b-day party and saw my kids' dad there and she cried because she missed her own dad who she hadn't seen in a while. Later that night, I was a little buzzed and said something like "I'm glad at least Moses (my ex) comes to their birthday parties." She thought I was saying "Haha your kids' dad doesn't see them," but I was simply expressing gratitude that at least my ex came. I didn't say it to be malicious. I DID on accident say it not thinking how her kids would feel hearing me say that, and they did hear (I was buzzed and not thinking straight) and I apologized to her. But she doesn't let go of stuff like that! She can do wrong things and expects people to forgive and forget, but she holds grudges forever. But anyway, she thinks everything is about her and she reads into what people say. But I took some time off work, and when I returned, everyone is happy as can be with each other and I know they all dislike me because of whatever she has said to them, and I don't want it to bother me, but it does. She gets people to believe stuff- like she had me convinced that it was another coworker who spread a nasty rumor about me, when in fact it was HER, and I confronted the coworker and said some harsh things, most of which I had heard directly from the mouth of my supposed friend, like about her raising her daughter to be snobby. I shouldn't have bought into it, and I did apologize. But God, I didn't say anything as awful as my "friend" said to me- she went as far as saying she hoped the other coworker's baby would die (she was pregnant and she did end up losing it) because she hated her so badly. I know I shouldn't have gone off on her, but I had been so disrespected at work- Told "F#ck you," "Do it yourself if you want it done" and all kinds of other nasty things (and I'm their supervisor!) and the stress and tension made me snap. But now they're all friends and I know they're pointing fingers at me and all happy that they think they got the best of me. But I don't want to let this affect me and I want to be happy and do well, so that they can't have that kind of power over me. But it does hurt when I see them laughing and happy with me the only one left out. But I know no one will apologize to me or think they did anything wrong, so I can't change it. I just need to learn to not care, which is hard. And I still have the desire to defend myself, even though I know it won't change what they think. So how can I keep that desire under control?Plus, staying angry helps me to not feel sad about it, but I want to forgive and let go for the sake of inner peace. So how do I detach from this situation and work through both the sadness and anger? more

Resolved Question: Married for 5 years, my husbands prefer to masturbate rather then have sex with me?

Sorry to burden the community with my drama. I know that I should go to counseling, but I have done that so many times and for so long too. I have also talked to my husband in every possible way, needless to say talking is nothing but a waste of energy because nothing has changed. I have also tried dressing sexy, looking head-turning to other men, are a lot more slender then when he met me, etc. Still no results. (Except when I put a porno movie for him, then the girls in the movies can give him what I can't: an erection without him even touching himself). I am in no way a boring, passive, etc lover. In the contrary, I am very sexual, not afraid of experimenting all type of positions, places, etc. I do have a high sex drive and are more then willing to do it daily if need be. If you think..perhaps I am to "loose" down there (OMG! I can't even believe I am saying this), one of his "issues" with me is that I used to pull his condom off, he presently and since for ever gets VERY ANGRY if I tighten or squeeze on/off because he says it "pushes" him out or he can't last; he gets so mad that starts screaming. I never heard of a guy getting pissed for something like this. He is 40 White, and I am 41 Hispanic. He used to be heavily in drugs and alcohol (way before I met him), he claims to have had sex with over 350+ women in his life, all of them petite/slender, participated in dozens of orgies, had sex on one night with 5 girl at the same time and lasted all night long, swing with "friends" and had one different girl (s) per day. He claims that he would receive bj under the tables at bar just by buying alcohol to girls or offering drugs to them, or just go for it while he was sitting and the girl on top wearing a mni skirt, etc. Used whip cream, chocolate, and what the heck not. With me? Absolutely nothing of this has EVER happened, he sincerely doesn't know how to make a woman reach an orgasm, he never wants to try different positions, whenever he is willing to have sex is only for about 10 mins and ONLY once a month, if I "complaint" enough perhaps I'll be lucky to get it twice. We have been together for the past 5 years, have two toddler and are awaitin our 3rd and last child. The sex issue started since day 1, it has never changed, the excuses started with he was recovering from a staph infection on his finger, then coming down from drug abuse for so many years, then extreme weakness because he was exhausted from working (but he wasn't tired enough to stay late watching TV), then it went to me being pregnant, then it was babies around, then it was to much work, then whatever the heck he wants to come up with. The fact is I don't get it but once or twice a month if lucky. My drama is: why he doesn't do to me near a 1/1'000,000th of what he did to all other girls, why did he approached me if I was/am far from being petite or size 5, why does he prefer to masturbate in the shower instead of have sex with me that I am begging for it and more then willing? Today I caught him again masturbating in the shower, which of course he denied to the ground. I had told him that if he cheated on me like that again the marriage would be over. He did swear before he was never going to do it again. If I were the type of wife that denies him sex, or not willing to do it when he wants...I would totally understand his actions. IF he were handicap and couldn't perform, I would also totally understand. When we walk in the Street, sitting at a restaurant, etc and for my bad luck a petite/slender girl happened to walk by...you bet he will stare at her until he looses sight, he has smile and flirt at them, etc. He claims he loves me to death, that I mean the world to him, he is loving, caring, sharing, is not a party animal, hard worker, the kids love him to death (I can't separate them, they will suffer so much for their daddy), has so many qualities and assets. BUT I feel that I am NOT want he prefers in life, he is making me miserable, I feel very lonely and neglected, I have thought a few times about suicide, my self-esteem is gone, I feel so desperate and nobody who to talk to, I feel like the ugliest women in the face of the earth, I am starting to hate the way I look, HE doesn't feel passion or desire for me, he prefers to masturbate instead of having sex with me, can't give him an erection without working him for a while, so WHAT THE HECK AM I DOING HERE WITH THIS MAN??? Should I just value his qualities and everything that he does for us and the heck with ever being sexually happy again and just let him have sex all on his own? I am so devastated, please advice. Do I love him? Very much, but he is destroying everything inside me. Don;t tell me: "talk to him, explain to him, go to counseling, bla, bla, bla..." because I already DID THAT AND DOESN'T WORK! Tried it for 5 years.... more

Open Question: Is this Catholic Pope Benedict under fire for an international criminal conspiracy to obstruct justice?

Question just rewording a little from article. Pope under fire for transfer, letter on sex abuse By NICOLE WINFIELD, Associated Press Writer Nicole Winfield, Associated Press Writer – 2 hrs 34 mins ago VATICAN CITY – Germany's sex abuse scandal has now reached Pope Benedict XVI: His former archdiocese acknowledged it transferred a suspected pedophile priest while Benedict was in charge and criticism is mounting over a 2001 Vatican directive he penned instructing bishops to keep abuse cases secret. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100312/ap_on_re_eu/eu_church_abuse "Canon law concerning grave crimes ... doesn't in any way interfere with or diminish the obligations of the faithful to civil laws," said Monsignor Davide Cito, a professor of canon law at Rome's Santa Croce University. The letter doesn't tell bishops to also report the crimes to police. But the Rev. John Coughlin, a law professor at the University of Notre Dame Law School, said it didn't need to. A general principle of moral theology to which every bishop should adhere is that church officials are obliged to follow civil laws where they live, he said. Yet Bishop John McAreavey of Dromore in Northern Ireland, told a news conference this week that Irish bishops "widely misinterpreted" the directive and couldn't get a clear reading from Rome on how to proceed. "One of the difficulties that bishops expressed was the fact that at times it wasn't always possible to get clear guidance from the Holy See and there wasn't always a consistent approach within the different Vatican departments," he said. "Obviously, Rome is aware of this misinterpretation and the harm that this has done, or could potentially do, to the trust that the people have in how the church deals with these matters," he said. An Irish government-authorized investigation into the scandal and cover up harshly criticized the Vatican for its mixed messages and insistence on secrecy in the 2001 directive and previous Vatican documents on the topic. "An obligation to secrecy/confidentialtiy on the part of participants in a canonical process could undoubtedly constitute an inhibition on reporting child sexual abuse to the civil authorities or others," it concluded. In the United States, Dan Shea, an attorney for several victims, has introduced the Ratzinger letter in court as evidence that the church was trying to obstruct justice. He has argued that the church impeded civil reporting by keeping the cases secret and "reserving" them for the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith. "This is an international criminal conspiracy to obstruct justice," Shea told The Associated Press. more

Resolved Question: Do you think my dad is a verbal/emotional abuser?

Well, first of all, I have to say that my dad's not always angry. His family has a history of being bipolar, but he really is a good person. I have to say that he has good morals and he's a good man considering I'm posting this on the internet and that it'll never really be erased. Anyway, on to the question details....My mom and dad fight...A LOT. He will begin to be upset over the smallest (and i mean smallest) of things. He will curse and scream (he has the most horribly loud voice)...and he'll say things like "You don't love me!" even though my mother does always try to show her love. I do know this, believe me, i've dealt with it all my life, and when you stand back and watch things, you seem to have a better understanding of what's going on than what the actual people in the situation do. Anyway, I am honestly going to say that I have never once seen my dad truley happy. He cannot deal with everyone being happy if he isn't, yet he's overly idealistic. My mom never yells back at him when he yells. He yells at me too. And curses. He's made me cry before over the stupidest things. When I was a child, i was chubby. He would always tell me to stop eating junkfood. This has caused me 'certain' health issues in my past... Another thing is that my dad drinks alcohol. He's fine the first night, but then it seems that the days after the hangover he's utterly depressed and verbally violent. He'll go off on ranting rages of horrible cuss words. There isn't one day I haven't heard him say a curse word. My mom and I think he is bipolar, and I think that they need counseling. But I know for a fact that my dad would NEVER go to counseling, or go to the doctor for bipolar issues, because he would never think such a thing about himself. I guess i would call it denial. He cannot handle anything my mom tells him, he'll be in a horrible mood for the rest of the week. I know this isn't severe, but it does hurt our feelings and I've been dealing with it all my life. Do you think this is some sort of abuse? I don't know...I've never been physically hurt, and I don't think my mom was hurt physically either, but he's made my mom cry before, and he's made me cry even more. I think it's my fault he's angry so much and so easily. I have trouble sleeping, i don't know if it has to do with this or not. But to sum aaaallllll of this up, would you call this abuse?My dad always talks to me about my mother (bad talk of course) and my mom sometimes talks to me about my dad. I know they need a counselor. Even though I want to help my parents, I am their child, and it is just simply not my job to be their counselor. It's too much stress on me, and it will cause me health issues. What do you think i ought to do? Please help me. Thank you (:Thank you all for answers. I appreciate it more than you can imagine. more

Resolved Question: English Research Paper Topic?

We're writing research papers in English and I need a topic. I was thinking of doing the Freemasons or the Illuminati because I've always found them fascinating. I like them, but I was also thinking something like child abuse. I plan to be a psychiatrist so things like child abuse interest me. Any other topics? Or opinions on which one I'd like better, like if the Freemasons have more interesting facts or something like that. Thanks! more

Resolved Question: So do you agree that these are the problems with illegal aliens being present?

With all these problems associated with the illegal alien problem, how can anyone advocate and say they are good for this nation? Are there any problems not on this list that should be added? XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Americans Working to Stop Illegal Immigration Get the Facts about Illegal Immigration . Problems With Illegal Immigration While illegal alien and amnesty supporters state complaints from Americans about illegal immigration are some form of racism, there are many very real problems associated with illegal immigration. We asked a focus groups of citizen activists who are engaged in the struggle to have America's borders secured and existing immigration laws enforced to tell us the different reasons Americans are alarmed about illegal immigration. Please review this list. More details will be added to each subject in the future. Please contact us if you have an addition for this list of problems caused by illegal immigration. . Anchor Babies: Birthright Citizenship Exploited Anti-American Attitudes Anti-Semitic Attitudes Attacks on Border Patrol and Law Enforcement agents Attacks on Free Speech in America Animal Abuse Increases Census Numbers: Negative Impact on Congressional Representation Civil rights: Devalued by comparison to illegal actions Child Endangerment Child Molestation Closed and Overcrowded Hospitals and Emergency Rooms Cost of Translators Consulates issuing Matricular Cards (ID Mexico won't even accept) Day Laborers loitering and creating public hazards Depreciated Wages for Americans and Legal Immigrants Deterioration of Common American Culture Desecration of the American Flag: Foreign Flags used aggressively Disrespect for American Laws Document Fraud Drunk driving injuries and deaths: Hit and Runs Ethnic Cleansing and Race Riots Farm animals with in city limits Food Poisoning Foreign Influence on US Politics Gangs, Graffiti, Drugs, Cartels, Smugglers, and Violence Gang Rape and unreported rapes High Birth Rates and Overpopulation Human Sex Slavery Identity Theft Increased Crime Increased Taxes for Americans Increased pressures on infrastructure (roads, traffic, water, sewer) Infectious Diseases Lost American Jobs Lost American Sovereignty Lost Self Governance of American citizens Vs. Globalism and Elitism Male Chauvinism: Gender inequality Not Speaking English, loss of common language, Press 1 for English Overcrowded Schools and Negative Impact on American Education Overcrowded single family homes Overcrowded Jails and Prisons Public Sanitation Loss: Trash and human waste in towns Racist Groups and Race Based Politics Remittances: Billions of dollars sent out of the US Economy Rule of Law: Fundamental principles of America sacrificed. Separatist Movements: Demands for autonomy Smear Campaigns and Lies: Dirty Politics Stolen American Taxpayer Resources: Tuition, Welfare, Licenses Taking limited seats in colleges at taxpayer expense Tax payer funds going to special interest groups (example) "LaRaza" Terrorism Threats and Loss of national security Trash and Negative Impact on Environment at border Unfair to Legal Immigrants Unfair Business Competition for law abiding companies Unlicensed and Uninsured Motorists Untaxed Wages Voter Fraud www.endillegalimmigration.comnicks/grease same person, I do not use white supremacist sites, Uh I am American Indian. That is the most ridiculous statement. more

Resolved Question: Which do you believe about female teachers abusing male students?

1. It's something that has always happened and just not been reported previously. It doesn't reflect any disturbing new trend. 2. We know for a fact that men are the vast majority of teachers abusing children and the media are just focusing on the women doing it. I've seen feminists make both claims and neither claim is totally implausible but it seems to me that if we grant (1) then we have no reason to feel confident about (2) since we've already acknowledged that we just DON'T KNOW. But if we grant (2) we would base that on our previous assumptions about these situations in which case this WOULD appear to be a new thing and something that does call out for an explanation.inspired by http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100311190039AA3SCl8 more

Resolved Question: How to get over abuse as a child?

I need to know how to get over what happened in my childhood. My mom started dating a guy when I was 5. Almost right away he started physically/mentally abusing me. This lasted for 5 years. My mother knew about it and even told some people in the family but no one ever did anything about it or helped me. During this time, my sister, who is 1 1/2 years older than me was also helping him abuse me. When I turned 10, the sexual abuse started. This lasted for a few months before I finally told someone. Until the time I moved out of the house (2 years ago) I was dealing with my sister physically/mentally abusing me still. My dad knew about it but said it was normal sisterly behavior. It wasn't. She would sit on me (I am 135 lbs and she is 220lbs) to the point where I couldn't breathe. I cannot be held down, but she would hold me down. She would sometimes shove things in my mouth. She would hit me or push me and call me nasty names. There is a lot more that I have been through and I cannot handle things. I get migraines 2-3xs daily, eye problems, dizziness, and balance problems which started around the time I was thrown in a dryer by my mother's ex bf and sister. These health problems are causing me to fail out of college. I don't have any friends. I do have people I talk to but I have no one that I am close to. I don't trust my family. I am always wanting to be alone. I just don't trust anyone. I don't know what to do. I can't handle the fact that I can't get over what happened to me and just learn to live my life. Sorry this was so long but I needed to explain myself. If you have any advice, please give it. I have gone to therapy but they don't really listen to me and don't give me help. Any advice would be great. Thanks.I have no proof of what they did. It is my word against theirs and they don't think they did anything wrong. more

Resolved Question: Why did I dream about my long-passed away brother after all these years?

When I was nine, my brother passed away. He was a year and a half younger than me. He had been suffering for some time, after an accident where a nurse gave him the incorrect medication and he wasn't doing so well. I saw his suffering, and in some strange way, I was happy to see him pass because I knew he would be happier. At his funeral I didn't cry, I don't know why. My brother hasn't really been spoken about since. No one brings it up. Ever since he died strange things have happened. I've long since disregarded the odd things...like the fact that his bird died the day after he did, curled up in a sad looking ball. Pictures kept falling off of otherwise sturdy hooks, that sort of thing. I could be reading into it too much, but its one of those things that you have to feel to understand. I'm now a married woman with a child of my own. I haven't thought of him for ages. Last night I had a dream about him. In this dream, he was older though, he looked as though he had actually grown up and was a man, as if nothing had ever happened to him. He said that he never actually died and that hes been alive all along. He said that he is happy to have found me. I remember looking at him and seeing that he had the same green eyes that I do. Our family, in real life, has been torn apart in so many ways, via alcohol abuse from my sister, and physical abuse from my mother...but in this dream his presence felt healing. Like having him there meant that everything was okay and peaceful. In the dream we were simply sitting on a couch in my mother's old house, talking, I remember feeling so much love. I felt excited to have a brother and I just wanted to hug him. I don't know why I had this dream. For the most part, my feelings towards my brother have been distant, the time was so painful in my life that I just shoved it away. Does anyone have any honest interpretations as to why this dream has come now? I feel like I met the man that my brother would have been. Any and all insight is appreciated. more

Resolved Question: I had a dream about my brother that passed away, can anyone interpret it?

Resolved Question: WHO ARE THE WORLD'S YOUNGEST PARENTS ?

okay , so i know all about the five year old from Lima who had a child , but i want to know who the youngest parents are. this means that it was consensual - that little girl had to have been abused - and they are still raising the kid together. i'm writing an essay on the topic of premarital sex and would like some shocking facts about the young age at which children are participating in sexual activities these days. more

Resolved Question: Do you feel that America Must Accept Increasing Multiculturalism and End Racism?

Source: http://www.examiner.com/examiner/x-35821-Immigration-Reform-Examiner~y2010m3d3-Why-are-so-many-children-falling-prey-to-criminal-aliens In April 2009, in a Charlottesville, VA courtroom, Circuit Judge Edward L. Hogshire sentenced Jeremias Chagala-Mil for the repeated rape of a local middle-school girl. Last November, he pleaded guilty to the crime, and admitted that he had sex with her many times. In April 2008, the girl’s mother discovered what he was doing with her daughter and reported him to police. Since his arrest, he has expressed his desire to marry the 7th grader. The 32-year-old Mexican national has continued to defend his actions to police, by maintaining that his behavior would not be a crime, and actually quite common throughout his own country. Charlottesville Deputy Commonwealth’s Attorney Claude Worrell said of Chagala-Mil: “He said this young girl, who was 12 at the time, looked like she was sexually mature to him. He said in Mexico, any girl who looks sexually mature is fair game to have sex with.” While Hogshire sentenced Chagala-Mil to 30 years in prison, he suspended all but six of those years. After completing his prison sentence, he will be deported back to Mexico. Unfortunately, the claims that Chagala-Mil makes about Mexico are true. Another example of this attitude can be found in Mexican national Diego Lopez-Mendez, who pled guilty in 2006 to sexually assaulting a 10 year old West Virginia girl. Through an interpreter, he told the court: "In the pueblo where I grew up girls are usually married by 13 years old….I was unaware of the nature of the offense or that it was a bad crime." The crime of kidnapping a woman for the purpose of rape and marriage against her will, or "rapto" as it is known in Mexico is actually seen as a minor crime and rarely prosecuted. Recently, a Mexican legislator actually even called the practice "romantic." While rape is a serious crime in the United States, many Mexican nationals cannot understand why they are prosecuted on this side of the border. Often, a small payment of $10 to $20 to the victim´s family will settle the matter back in Mexico. Of course, it is also common for all charges to be dropped against the accused rapist, if he offers to marry his victim in front of the judge, even if the girl refuses, the court acknowledges that he has made the offer. But perhaps, the most troubling and telling reason behind the growing epidemic of child molestation at the hands of Mexican illegal aliens, is the fact the age of sexual consent throughout much of Mexico is 12. The only other nation in the world which boasts such a disregard for childhood innocence is Zimbabwe, where the age of consent is also 12. Article 177 of the Mexican Federal District Penal Code discusses "sexual abuse" and punishment of other acts referred to as "unintentional" acts –"who without purpose of reaching copulation, performs a sexual act with a person under 12 or a person that has no capacity of understanding the meaning of the act or that for any reason cannot resist it, or that demands that such act is observed or performed, will be punished with 2 to 7 years in prison". In addition to Mexico City, the age of consent is 12 years old in 19 Mexican states. So do you believe we should end Megan's Law so we can embrace multiculturalism and end racism once and for all. more

Resolved Question: What reason do I have to live?

I don't even think I have a reason to live anymore.I honestly think sometimes that God doesn't hear me crying out for help or see me struggling. My mom abused me for my entire life (mentally and physically) and I just got away from it this summer, by her abandoning me. She married my step-dad when I was 11 without me knowing and was pregnant and didn't tell me until she was 6 months and then beat me when I was upset with her for not telling me sooner (I thought her and I were closer than that). When she had my sister she basically dumped her off on me and didn't wanna play "mommy" until she turned 3 and that was off and on. She let my step - dad call me a bit*h and threaten me in so many ways without really saying or doing anything. He'd always say I was a jinx and I had bad luck. He told her that my sister would be the golden child and be special and I'd be nothing. When I tried to go to college my mother messed that up for me by threatening to beat me up because I told my little sister to sit still in the car. I wouldnt've had enough money to go without her helping me pay for it somehow, and my school didn't have dorms so I'd have to get an apartment, and she'd have to stay with me (her choice). I was afraid that if I had to stay with her like that I might've committed suicide because I couldn't take too much more of what she was doing to me. As a child I was a nerveous wreck because of her. I had heart problems (which I'm over now) and I developed a lot of nerveous habits (like lip biting) And I was on the verge of a nerveous breakdown so many times it isn't funny. My mom abandoned me this past summer and I had to move up north with my dad. He's easier to live with than my mom but he thinks that just because I'm 19 he doesn't have to show me as much love and affection and so he shows all his love and affection to his girlfriend. I'm lonely all the time, all my friends are away in college, and I don't fit in on my dad's side of the family, I'm always the odd one out. And on my mom's side of the family things get worse!!! My grandma and my aunt (my mom's sister) treat me like I'm slow and put me down a lot. I was already very insecure about my body because of my mother but all they do is make it worse. They constantly criticize me about everything I do (the clothes I wear, how I wear my hair, the things I like to read, the shoes I wear). All I really have is music and dance...those are the two things that seem to take the pain of my day to day life away. And thats what I want to do for a living but its like I can't even do that right. I think I look weird dancing and it seems like sometimes I can sing and other times I can't. I don't know why I should even go on living anymore. I'm lonely all the time and I have a hard time making friends. I even had to spend my birthday alone 2 days ago. Its like nobody cares...so why should I?? I want to give up but I can't for some reason...I'm not suicidal or anything but lets face facts here...is there anything I have to live for?I'm not gonna kill myself...but I just summed my whole life up and really thought what do I have to live for...I can't talk to my sister and my mom has told her so much messed up untrue stuff about me it isn't funny!!! more

Resolved Question: Thomson/Venables: Do most psychopaths not show their evil tendencies at a young age?

From what I've read, the majority of psychotic murderers and serial killers displayed their abnormality and evil natures from a young age. Torturing animals generally being the favourite pastime. http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/425882/the_link_between_animal_abuse_and_serial.html Even at a young age they seem to lack that basic mechanism within the brain which tells them "no". Most of us would never consider deliberately inflicting pain and suffering on a living creature. Even without parents to teach us right from wrong, something inside us prevents us from doing this. The average 10 year old tearaway back chats his parents and teacher, nicks things from shops, plays knock and run, gets into fights and steals his dad's fags to smoke over the park with his mates. But they would never consider torturing an animal or a small child. Now the delightful Jon Venables and Robert Thomson went beyond the animal torture phase, and went straight to humans. At 10 they deliberately set out to abduct a toddler, tortured him, beat him to death and laid his body over a railway track to be cut in half by a train. Doesn't that signal to you that something was very very wrong with these individuals? That they were possible psychopaths in the making? That perhaps they would not be able to function safely in society and should be kept away from the public for our and our children's safety? Not to the Government, who thought that 8 years in a "special" school was all that was required. They were then released under Government protection and at the taxpayer's expense. Now, aged 27, Venables has been recalled to prison fter police found a hoarde of *Category 4 child porn* on his laptop. Category 4 child porn is one down from the very nastiest variety, depicting sick, violent sex acts against children. http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2882769/Jon-Venables-locked-back-up-amid-allegations-he-was-hoarding-child-porn.html Does anyone want to explain to me, as a mother, why the Government did not foresee that this PoS was not fit to be released into society? Does anyone want to explain what will happen if another child has been harmed. Does Jack Straw want to reassure UK parents that his government aren't releasing dangerous child predators into the community to put our children at risk? The fact that Government are so desperate to keep hush hush about the reasons for recall suggest to me that they are BAD. You don't get recalled to prison like this for something trivial.I'm not entirely sure of the correct terminology for the likes of Jeffrey Dahmler, Ted Bundy, Denis Nilsen and the like. But they all started off torturing animals and went on to murder humans.Mary Bell's jail term was also longer than this pair - she served 12 years and was 23 when released - they had been able to observe her as an adult for 4 years unlike the Bulger murderers who got out at 18. Also far more was done to analyse her mental state and make sure there was a reasonable chance of her not reoffending. I don't think she deserved to be released and to enjoy the life she robbed her victims of - I wonder if having her own child brought home to her what she'd robbed her victims' mothers of? But I agree that she seems to have at least avoided commiting any more murders. That doesn't mean all children who display pyschopathic tendencies can be "rehabilitated" or should be. And when you consider what these two boys did, I can't believe you don't think the term "psychopath" appropriate. more

Resolved Question: A question for people who have been through bereavement?

I need to know if this is just a typical part of grief or if my feelings are real enough to act upon. I know in the "grief cycle" anger is supposed to hit at some point. Well so far (in the 14 months since my mum died) everything the "grief cycle" says is going to happen has been bullshit for me - I went through the initial depression and bargaining but otherwise none of it has transpired. But all of a sudden, lately I'm just so angry, NOT angry at my mum, I could never be, but angry at my dad and sister. Right now I'm on the brink of cutting them out of my life all together. My anger at them, in my head is for entirely rational reasons and I believe I'm justified in my response. But part of me wonders, hmm is this the 'anger' I'm supposed to feel at some point, am I being unreasonable, would I be wrong for taking final action towards them if this is just a response to grief? I'm angry about how they treated her when she was alive. My dad emotionally abused her. My sister was a nasty little b*tch to her. They both made her terribly unhappy. I was the ONLY one who stood by her and was loyal to her, but in the final months of her life my dad poisoned my mind against her and manipulated me into thinking things were her fault, and I hate him for that now and I hate myself for not being there for my mother even more. I am angry that they don't feel guilty about how they were to her. Guilt is natural in grief, I feel guilty about heaps of crap, even the illogical stuff that I know I couldn't have helped, yet they feel nothing, when they have SO much to be guilty about! I am angry that my dad has used me for a year whilst he's been wallowing in self pity (I DON'T believe he has been genuinely grieving for my mum, he has been grieving for the fact that HIS life sucks now, he doesn't CARE that she's LOST hers) and now he's decided he's happy again he acts as if I simply don't exist, his 'need' for me is gone (after I sacrificed so much to support him through this). I'm angry that he's found a new woman after a YEAR, he said the words "She is the person your mum should have been", he's called her his "new soulmate" - how could he?! After a year? And I'm angry that my sister is happy about it and texting this new woman like she's her new f***ing mother or something already. I'm angry that ever since she died I get totally overlooked - everyone showers my dad with pity because he lost his wife, showers my sister with pity because she's a teen that lost her mum, but never, ever, ever ask after me, I guess because I'm just an adult who lost a parent which is normal - even though I feel I'm the ONLY one who is loyal to her and the ONLY one who still cares. Am I being crazy? Is this just my grief? Am I being an unreasonable b*tch? Or would I be in the right to tell my dad and sister, who already treat me like I'm barely a member of the family since I dared to move out into my own home (I'm 22 and I have a child and yes the move was on good terms), that I wouldn't care if I never see them again? more

Resolved Question: Best Essay Ever, I bet the max error I would get is 10!?

Childhood Violence Childhood violence can improve an individual, but it can also negatively affect a person. Not all people who have had a violent childhood will become violent themselves in their adults life because everyone is different. With violence, people can learn from it because they will know what is wrong from right. For instance; stealing, if an individual were to go into a store with the intention to steal something, and they get confront by a cop that is in there, the spectators learn it’s not right to steal. If kids were to witness the consequence of someone acting upon something violent, the kid would think twice before they themselves do it like stealing. Not many people know, but stealing is an act of violent, like fighting or shooting. In Zizek’s The Tyrant’s Bloody Bloody Robe he writes about two forms of violence subjective and objective. Subjective violence is a form where one can physically witness violence on display like fighting, but objective violence is the type of violence that no one can observe, such as an mans anger towards an individual who raped his kid. Not all violence is detrimental; violence can be like protecting someone, and getting involved in a fight to do so. Violence is looked at as a bad aspect especially during one’s childhood. Violence during one’s childhood can be of different kinds such as from parents hitting the child for trying to seat t one’s house etc. Violence is something one should always take seriously because violence can change a person’s life and even change a person’s brain literally. In an article called Childhood Abuse Changes the Brain by Leonard Holmes, he says that if a child is abused enough, he or she will become vulnerable to brain change. Having violence in ones childhood can increase the chances of that person turning violent in this individuals adulthood years. Being violent as an adult can be in many different forms from getting into lots of fights to just stealing things from people’s houses. As an adult there is more freedom, and with violence added to that mix, it can turn out to be a very bad recipe. Even though having violence during ones childhood can make that person become better, having violence during childhood can also increase the chance of making that person become more violent in their adulthood life. Violence is all around, everywhere a person can see there is violent. Violent is not always a bad thing because a person can learn so many things from it like being overly protected. For example, as a kid this person is in a very violent environment, his family is in a gang and he does not care for anyone else, but his family. As he grew older he learned that being in a gang is not going to help create a good future for him, so his solution was to move away. When he finally ended up with a family and two kids, he realized that he was very protective, and this is because of his childhood life. Being in a gang to him meant representing his gang, and protecting the one that is within that gang. If someone was to get hurt within the gang member group everyone in it would help out by getting revenge or just being there for that person. Since he was born into a gang, he learned that first hand, and that is to be protective each other and be there for each other when one needs it. Being protective is never a bad thing, the only problem with it is, kids and even other family members can get annoyed of it. In other words not all people who had a violent childhood turn out to become violent but more of an opposite person. But having a violent childhood also can make a person become more violent in their adulthood life. In an article called Suffering Child Abuse into Adulthood by Greg Huffman is about a person who had experience a very violent childhood, and describing what had happen to him. While describing what has happen to him as a kid, he also was pointing out that it in fact does affect his adult life “Mental or physical abuse as a child can definitely affect one into adulthood. I am a witness.” (Huffman). Till this day he is still truamatized about the event that had happened in his life when he was a kid, and in fact he admits to being alcoholic and having anger problem when he is drunk. Like his father and uncle they had anger problems when they are drunk, but when he realized he was acting like his father and uncle he stopped. Because of his childhood abuse violent, he also became violent himself. Being in a violent environment as a kid, can be very traumatizing. While reading the book by Richard Heyman and Amy Smith. One can learn that there are many people out there who have gathered data about people who had a violent childhood, and how that made them became violent as an adult. Those people not only collected data from the US but also went around the world to collect data to make their agrument stronger. What the real main problem of having a more

Resolved Question: Is it wrong for me to say that I hate my life?

I just turned 19 today and almost everyday I find myself sayinf that I hate my life. This past summer my mom abandoned me and turned my brother and little sister against me. After years of abuse during my childhood my mother claimed that I was her mistake and my little sister will be her golden child. Throughout my whole childhood I was depressed and it carried over to my teenage years. I'm so depressed about almost everyday, I feel guilty about my mother abandoning me, I hate the fact that my life seems to be going no where. Plus I'm all alone...all the time!!! My dad is more into his girlfriend than he is into me, and on his side of the family I don't really seem to fit in besides kinda looking like them. My mom's side of the family is always criticizing me for everything I do...the clothes I wear (which is normally a nice shirt and some jeans) , the shoes I wear (normally sneakers...which to them is a problem), and even if I wear my hair in a ponytail (they say I look like a kid) I hate being around them because I feel like a science expirament on display. My aunt and grandma always point out that I'm not like normal 19 year olds because I wear sneakers and I'm a bit more boyish than them (I like video games, sneakers, sports, etc...). I wasn't allowed to be a girly girl as a kid because my mom didn't want me to act slutty I guess. But any way I just wanna know is it wrong for me to hate my life? more

Resolved Question: Why were Jon Venables and Robert Thompson's parents not tried for child cruelty?

why does everyone force the blame of James Bulger's death on two ten year olds, and completely forget the fact there parents must have subjected them to a lot of abuse?I do aggree with part of what you said wendy justice should be about "keeping two sick kids/men away hurting any more kids" but is trying two ten year olds in an adult court, the youngest in UK legal history, justice or mob justice? What should of happened is rehabilitation, what happend is revenge. I do aggree that they are a danger to society and they should be imprisoned until they have been corrected, but the parents had the capability to raise the youngest ever murderers in UK history, and they too got the full benifits of the protection agencies, costing the tax payers just as much. The reason they were given new identities is so they are not killed in an act of vigilante justice, but seeming as the law court bowed down to media pressure before and seriously considered increasing the sentence after the trial, they already have (short of giving out the addresses) more

Resolved Question: I need some serious answers about a domestic abusive situation, please?

Oh gosh, where to start?!?! Ok, so the situation is this - My mother is currently going through a separation from her husband of 18 years. He is not my biological father, but he did adopt my brother and I, against our will basically, when we were very young. Together, he and my mother have 4 more children. This separation has turned very nasty. My mother's husband has been a domineering and obnoxious person since the day I met him, and nothing has changed, in fact it has gotten worse. Over the last 18 years he has used the Bible as a weapon to control everyone in his life, telling them the Bible gives him authority over them and they are in rebellion to question what he demands. My mom has finally decided she is done with his constant verbal and emotional abuse that he has inflicted for years and filed for full custody seeing as none of the children at this point want anything to do with him. Obviously, he is fighting her very hard and blaming the kids feelings towards him on her. Also, he has been a prescription drug addict for over 10 years and just within the last 6 months has been, supposedly, off all medication. On top of this addiction to morphine and Fentanyl he has drunk and drove several times, been on sleeping pills and drove, and huffed paint once to get high and relieve the pain he has from some surgeries years ago. Once he was drunk and asked my 9 year old half brother (7 years old at the time) to drive with him down to the dollar store right up the street...with my brother as the driver. My mother intervened, but this type of thing is not uncommon for him. He brought fireworks into the home not long ago (illegal in the state) and had my brother outside with kerosene lighting them. Anyway, he commands respect from everyone and when he does not get it he threatens and intimidates and bullies everyone in the house until they feel helpless other then to just do whatever it takes to get him to back off. My mother call the police on him pushing her out the door through the use of the door and has received no help from the deputies at all. An incident that happened just hours ago was my mother returning from a trip out of town and brought back my older brother with her to stay with her for the weekend turned into her husband calling the sheriff on my brother and demanding he be removed from the property. So, I guess I don't understand. This is all in the state of AZ, by the way. My mother's name is on the mortgage, she owns half the house legally, and is getting it in the separation. Her lawyer told me that if her husband called the cops to have me removed they would not be able to considering she owns half the house, so why did this not happen that way? I am thinking the best choice at this point is to contact CPS and report the emotional and verbal abuse and see if it can be used for the court to help my mother get full custody. Does this sound reasonable in this situation? There are so many more issues and details, but it's all a lot to process and make sense of right now. Any good (not rude) advice is welcome, it fact I am begging for it! I am at my breaking point by seeing this all happen, they are all victims, and I am not sure what I can do to help. more

Resolved Question: Duplicate question. How do I manage my family after leaving abusive husband?

After 5 years of abuse, I finally told my husband to hit the road jack. He seemed to get off on calling me names like stupid and ugly. His favorite was the word dumb. He wasn't always like this (for anyone wondering why I stayed and yes he did get counseling for his anger--but it didn't work). Well I just had our 3rd and last child a few weeks ago and I had to kick him out last Sunday because I couldn't stand the fact that he never wants to be seen in public with me, is always on the cell phone, gets up early to run unnecessary errands and stays gone longer than he should to do those particular errands, has certain days that he feels like he HAS to go and hang out with his friends (usually on Mondays and Tuesdays), is always broke even though he gets a small unemployment check (his factory closed down), and starts arguments just go get out of the house away from me. He even told me that he had a woman (and made jokes about her having so much pubic hair that he had to make her shave it--ewwww!!!!) and now he can spend more time with her and doesn't have to sneak around now that I'vve thrown him out. I don't know if he said that to be sarcastic or trying to make jokes or what. He once had an older lady bring him dinner that she had cooked at her house for him while he was staying with a friend (when we separated before). He said that they never had sex, but she made an effort to bring him cigarrettes on his job when he needed some. Doesn't that sound like a cheater to you? How do I handle the kids? They are running wild. I was always the soft one and he was the disciplinarian, so they act like they can do what they want. The 3 year old is terrible. The 2 year old just follows his lead. The newborn is the easiest...but I am still recovering from a c-section and have to do everything alone. My mom is sickly and my sister is a "moody sometimey" person. I pretty much do not have any help at all. I don't want my husband back,so how do I manage this on my own...I have never had to work so hard. I still have 3 weeks before I go back to work and I don't want to go back drained and beat. more

Resolved Question: Raising kids alone after leaving abusive husband. Need advice. How do I manage?

Resolved Question: Left husband and raising 3 babies ages 3 and under alone. Any advice on how to survive (because I am worn out)?

Resolved Question: I don't know how to cope...?

First of all, I would like to say hello to everyone, and to those who can read what will more than likely be a long post, I thank you very much for your time. Serious answers only please. My name is Jen and I am 23 years old. I have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Severe Bipolar, agoraphobia and Dissociation. I have been struggling since the age of 8 and have been self harming and actively making attempts on my own life since that age. As a child, I was sexually abused by my mothers' partner for several years, and also drugged and raped by one of my fathers best friends at the age of 15. I subsequently fell pregnant with his child but lost the child at 5 months. Without going into too much detail about anything else, I am severely struggling with my illnesses and though my Mental Health Team were initially helpful in helping me to achieve the correct diagnosis', as I was unable to make it to an appointment they ''passed'' me back to my GP. Even though they know I am at high risk of self harm and suicidal tendencies. I am now in need of help more than ever. I have a 5 year old child and I want to do the best I can by my child, but my illness is so sporadic and capricious that I never know how I will feel from one day to the next. Even the times when I am forced to take her to or from school are absolutely horrific for me, and I come home unable to breathe very well and generally feeling like absolute rubbish. Dealing with my illness on a day to day basis is hard to cope with by itself, but throw into the mix a beautiful child who I love dearly, a relationship with limited understanding and concurrent problems with physical abuse from outside parties, and this has cooked up and almighty storm that I just cannot seem to shift. I have the most wonderful partner, I love him to no ends but recently, he left me because he couldn't cope with my illnesses and my paranoia and fear of abandonment that come hand in hand with my problems. Unfortunately, by his leaving me, I did not eat for a fortnight and just sat crying and counting down my days until I gave up. It may sound selfish when the reader knows I have a child, however, as I have already stated, due to lack of support, I have absolutely no real control over my illness or my emotions. My partner came back to me as I had sent him a very long letter apologizing for the effect my illness had on him, and now he is back in my life, I should be ecstatic, however, the sorrow and absolute panic and devastation of him leaving (other BPD sufferers will understand that being abandoned completely destroys all sense of love we have with the world and places us into what feels like a literal "limbo" zone) have failed to subside, and now he is getting more and more angry with me, throwing several profanities at me, calling me worthless and generally making me feel like the worst person on the planet. I just want to know, in fact, BEG to know if anyone has any sensible ideas about ways in which I can try to control my symptoms. I'm just a nervous wreck at the moment and just keep randomly bursting into tears. I look forward to reading your replies and hope that someone out there (maybe another sufferer who has found ways to cope over time?) can help me to try and find ways in which to open more doors to a brighter future. Thank you everybody, Regards, Jen xThank you for the post about getting a second opinion, however, I have seen several different psychologists/psychotherapists and they have each come to the same conclusions. Unfortunately, BPD often comes hand in hand with other problems. more

Voting Question: Heavy Marajuana use in early pregnancy? + a few drink binges...?

My cousin is pregnant with her first baby. She is about 5 weeks pregnant. She had a few binge drinking sesions before discovering her pregnancy (about 1-2 bottles of wine + a few RTDs each time, about 3 times) She also has marajuana daily. She spends about $100 a week on it to give you an idea of the quantity! I have been trying to explain to her the dangers to her child, but because her mother smoked throughout pregnancy - she is convinced it will do no harm. She knows there are dangers but has the 'it wont happen to me' attitude. Shes here with me now so I want to prove her wrong! Please tell me the EFFECTS this could be having on her unborn child (NOT a debate on the wrongs and rights of drug use!) Also please give an idea of the possible damage that may have already been done. I am wanting facts - not abuse. I am trying to help her. Thanks :) more

Resolved Question: Does overly sexualized behaviour in children have to mean they have been abused?

have no memories of having been sexually abused but I did certain unusual things as a child. I began masturbating at 6 years of age and began fantasizing about grown up women by the age of 8. When I 8, I asked my younger sister to kiss me on two occasions out of curiosity (which I still feel very guilty about) And when I was 9, I used to steal my uncle's porn. The fact that I had such an interest in sex at such an early age, does it mean I was abused? Or is this behavior in some cases common in young boys? I know for certain I was not abused by a parent as they are both good people but I don't know about all other adults I grew up with. Can you please tell me if I'm over-reacting? more

Resolved Question: Does overly sexualized behavior in children have to mean they have been sexually abused?

I have no memories of having been sexually abused but I did certain unusual things as a child. I began masturbating at 6 years of age and began fantasizing about grown up women by the age of 8. When I 8, I asked my younger sister to kiss me on two occasions out of curiosity (which I still feel very guilty about) And when I was 9, I used to steal my uncle's porn. The fact that I had such an interest in sex at such an early age, does it mean I was abused? Or is this behavior in some cases common in young boys? I know for certain I was not abused by a parent as they are both good people but I don't know about all other adults I grew up with. Can you please tell me if I'm over-reacting? more

Voting Question: help to do peer review for my essay!!! Thankiess?

Help to grade my essay( peer review_ Okay I didnt do it in class but ineed someone to grade my paper on every of the categories below.. If you can please help me because the grade of the essay depends on this peer review too Ill post my essay and after it the peer review questions.. Any help would be very useful and appreciated!! :) thank you Here goes the essay----- Adults are increasingly concerned about teenagers drinking alcohol. They feel that children of such an age are too young to indulge in drinking. There is also a belief that there is a need to oppose American teenagers arguments that the legal drinking age should be lowered in the USA. Alcohol can, in certain circumstances be considered as harmful, and it's consumption should be limited especially by teenagers. Many young people drink due to peer pressure, and by copying friends who are already drinking. In my own opinion I do not feel that the legal drinking age should be lowered, rather maintained at it's present level but there should be more information available for students on the potential harm that excessive drinking can cause. Alcohol is considered by many to be categorised in the same way as drugs due to the adverse effects experienced by over indulgence . It can be harmful to certain of the body's organs, particularly the liver, and it can also adversely affect body growth, a fact not readily known by many teenagers. Drinking is often seen as a solution to problems and as a means to alleviate bad moods and depression. Unfortunately this is not a solution, since the problems will still be there afterwards and could become more serious. There are also drink related risks to one's health that include liver damage, pancreatitis, certain cancers, and literal shrinkage of the brain, all exacerbated by drinking alcohol at a young age. Another fact about drinking alcohol is that by drinking too much you may bring on a state of drunkenness, resulting in an inability to control yourself and a resultant loss of memory. Often people under the influence are unable to remember actions they may have taken whilst in that state. There are also the dangers of lack of inhibition that often foster violence and bad behaviour to those who are drunk, although teenagers often oppose this view since the lack of inhibition gives them false confidence and an unreal braveness that often leads to trouble. Excessive drinking, however, does not demonstrate how brave a person is, in fact the opposite showing a weak personality and a low measure of self esteem. The future depends on the young generation, and there is a risk that it could be damaged by underage drinking. Alcohol poisons our brain, and it slows reactions and is certain to affect school work. Many young adults who drink excessively, tend to drop out of school and thus damage their future prospects. This obviously affects their education, future prospects and employment opportunities and causes frustration. So, in conclusion, I strongly re-iterate that the legal drinking age should not be lowered, and as a resolution to alcohol related problems, I suggest that there should be far more education given to teenagers about the dangers that alcohol abuse can cause, but also about sensible drinking. Such programmes would assist greatly in curbing alcohol abuse amongst teenagers. Ideas and Content: Organization: Voice: Word Choice: Sentence Fluency Conventions: Sum it up: thanks guys oh and plese if you cann help me with the topic of the essay :) more

Voting Question: Teens - Short story advice please? :)?

Hey, I'm writing a short story for English and I'm not sure about it.. I'll post the start and any criticism would be much appreciated! Preparing to climb a steep, treacherous mountain in the north of Scotland was not how I had planned to spend the first Saturday of half term. For weeks the holidays had lain stretched out in front of me, They had dangled freely in my wake; tempting me into their luxurious clutches. I had fantasised for what seems like eternity about waves of crystal lashing against rocky coves in some exotic destination which fulfilled my every need. I had imagined clubs bustling with people swaying to the pulsing rhythm of the music. I had dreamed of quaint little towns and market-places, culture filling every possible crevice. When we had planned a trip, being knee-deep in mud and other such revolting substances was not on my agenda. But here I was. Looking back, I suppose it was somewhat ironic that it was I, the most disorganized member of the group, who remembered to check the weather forecast that fateful day. It was I who took care to pack the maps and to make sure that we were all correctly equipped to make the ascent, not that I had anything more than basic knowledge, it was in fact my first – and last – time. It was still relatively early when we arrived at our destination, the trek looming ominously ahead of us. We were amusing ourselves by playing silly, infantile games and poking fun at one another. A childish insult was muttered and colour rose furiously to my cheeks. This was typical of our group, someone would say something to provoke me and I would struggle desperately to keep my temper – behaviour more fitting to a gathering of children in the playground than to a bunch of soon-to-be Law graduates. The situation developed rapidly and soon the atmosphere reflected the frosty weather. A tirade of abuse flew from my mouth like poisoned darts and before I knew it I was storming off into the marshland that led me up the mountain. The mountain itself was magnificent to behold, lush green and pure, unsullied white. My vision, however, was tinted red. I all but ran through acres of trees and long grass, not thinking where I was going but determined to reach the summit, just to prove I could, alone. Somewhere in the back of my mind I realised that I was being ridiculous, that I should turn back and apologize, offer to buy them dinner tonight, whatever it took, but my ego dominated my thoughts and I knew I had to do this. I picked up the pace, slipping into a steady jog. It began to drizzle, the sky sickly grey. The ground beneath me became hazardous and slippery and, inevitably, I lost my footing. Pain shot through my ankle, which was swelling rapidly. My back, exposed to a thin sheet of ice, began to ache, the bitter cold a stark contrast to the warm, sticky liquid trickling steadily down my face. more

Resolved Question: Why are so many children falling prey to criminal aliens?

In April 2009, in a Charlottesville, VA courtroom, Circuit Judge Edward L. Hogshire sentenced Jeremias Chagala-Mil for the repeated rape of a local middle-school girl. Last November, he pleaded guilty to the crime, and admitted that he had sex with her many times. In April 2008, the girl’s mother discovered what he was doing with her daughter and reported him to police. Since his arrest, he has expressed his desire to marry the 7th grader. The 32-year-old Mexican national has continued to defend his actions to police, by maintaining that his behavior would not be a crime, and actually quite common throughout his own country. Charlottesville Deputy Commonwealth’s Attorney Claude Worrell said of Chagala-Mil: “He said this young girl, who was 12 at the time, looked like she was sexually mature to him. He said in Mexico, any girl who looks sexually mature is fair game to have sex with.” While Hogshire sentenced Chagala-Mil to 30 years in prison, he suspended all but six of those years. After completing his prison sentence, he will be deported back to Mexico. Unfortunately, the claims that Chagala-Mil makes about Mexico are true. Another example of this attitude can be found in Mexican national Diego Lopez-Mendez, who pled guilty in 2006 to sexually assaulting a 10 year old West Virginia girl. Through an interpreter, he told the court: "In the pueblo where I grew up girls are usually married by 13 years old….I was unaware of the nature of the offense or that it was a bad crime." The crime of kidnapping a woman for the purpose of rape and marriage against her will, or "rapto" as it is known in Mexico is actually seen as a minor crime and rarely prosecuted. Recently, a Mexican legislator actually even called the practice "romantic." While rape is a serious crime in the United States, many Mexican nationals cannot understand why they are prosecuted on this side of the border. Often, a small payment of $10 to $20 to the victim´s family will settle the matter back in Mexico. Of course, it is also common for all charges to be dropped against the accused rapist, if he offers to marry his victim in front of the judge, even if the girl refuses, the court acknowledges that he has made the offer. But perhaps, the most troubling and telling reason behind the growing epidemic of child molestation at the hands of Mexican illegal aliens, is the fact the age of sexual consent throughout much of Mexico is 12. The only other nation in the world which boasts such a disregard for childhood innocence is Zimbabwe, where the age of consent is also 12. Article 177 of the Mexican Federal District Penal Code discusses "sexual abuse" and punishment of other acts referred to as "unintentional" acts –"who without purpose of reaching copulation, performs a sexual act with a person under 12 or a person that has no capacity of understanding the meaning of the act or that for any reason cannot resist it, or that demands that such act is observed or performed, will be punished with 2 to 7 years in prison". In addition to Mexico City, the age of consent is 12 years old in 19 Mexican states. The next time someone tells you that illegal immigration is a 'victimless crime,' remind them of the children whose lives will never be the same. Until our politicians gain the courage to actually defend our border…Keep your children close! http://www.examiner.com/examiner/x-35821-Immigration-Reform-Examiner~y2010m3d3-Why-are-so-many-children-falling-prey-to-criminal-aliens more

Resolved Question: What happens when you report someone for child abuse?

I know someone in new york, female, 15-16 years of age, who lives with an abusive father. This father works at the same company I do, which is how I know most of what I do..The things I know for a fact is that he's a heavy drinker and a smoker of cannabis.. he's come into work both drunk and stoned on more than one occasion.The rest is hearsay, but he supposedly smokes and drinks around his kids, and has verbally (and quite possibly physically) abused one or both of them.I'd like to report this, however i'm not sure how to go about it, and i'd also like to know what, exactly, will happen at the residence. more

Resolved Question: Will I have to have my baby in jail?

There is a whole long background to this story, but basically i have a court hearing tomorrow, where i am defending myself against contempt charges by my ex for not sending my child for her visitation. In a nut shell she hasn't been going because he is under investigation by cps for abusing the son of his ex live in girlfriend. I filed a motion to modify the current orders in the beginning, but his attorney wanted everything moved to a new jurisdiction because we both live in a different county now, so it has been 3 months and we are just now getting to have a hearing, however, my attorney can not be present and i have a stand in to ask for a continuance based on the fact that she can't be there to present all the evidence. This weekend is his weekend and I fear that if we are granted a continuance and the judge doesn't hear any evidence in this case, he will order me to comply with the previous order in place. With allegations and an investigation currently going on for sexual & physical abuse against another child, plus everything else this guy is doing I WILL NOT SEND MY CHILD. I am also pregnant and due any day so I wam wondering if I am in jail for contempt and go into labor will i be taken to a real hospital?? more

Resolved Question: Should I let my mother see my children?

My mother and I have not gotten along since my birth. I am not one to put my life on public display but I don't think private counseling sessions with this woman would benefit anyone. Our relationship is toxic and I at age 33 have finally accepted this as fact. The last "blow up" if that's what you want to call it, was over a disagreement about a disciplinary action that my husband had decided to take with my daughter. My husband stuck to his guns, and she didn't get her way so she started by kicking us out of her house. This did not get her her way, so she proceeded to call Social Services the next the day. Social Services did not feel that is was a case of "abuse" so she proceeded to tell my daughters school that I was danger to her and had them believing that I was coming to sign her out of school and take her away to some unknown place because I was mentally unstable. It was my daughters birthday, I was picking her early to take her out to lunch and instead I was detained by police for two hours. Well, after that charade had played out and I had assured the school that we were not moving until the following month as I had informed them two weeks prior, I felt that she had nothing left. Now, this is all normal reaction from my mother. This is the kind of person she is...DRAMA. Long story short....too late....I called her to ask her for my belongings, some furniture and boxes she had stored for me (I know, a snowballs chance in hell) and she says no. So, I called an attorney to ask what my next step should be since storming into her home and taking it was not nice and/or illegal. I was informed that I would have to take her to small claims court which reluctantly I did because my husband encouraged me to "stand up for myself." He quickly learned that the only way to "stand up" to this woman was to "stand down". All Holy Hell breaks loose again. First, she hired a blind attourney....for small claims court. Then she pays this woman, that I don't even know, to lie in court and say that she's my cousin and that I sold her all of my belongings for crack. I was 5 months pregnant. She was ordered to give back what I could prove was mine and the judge shut down our little circus act. On the way out of the court room I, five months pregnant I am approached by a deputy sheriff and informed that I have an outstanding warrant for my arrest from 5 years ago. (The result of another argument.) I was arrested, booked, and released within an hour with my date to return to court. I was able to prove that I was not in the state at the time of the allegation with a time/date stamped police report and request for an order of protection against my mother who was in another state harassing me...not the other way around. The order of protection was granted by the way...another drama filled court case story for another day. The case was thrown out, and I swore never to let her into my life again. For two years now, I have beat myself up over our failed mother/daughter relationship and till this day I am still fighting the gut feeling that I am the bad guy. She recently started contacting me on the INTERNET, but I'm still so hurt that I cant give her my phone number, my address, NOTHING. I have been keeping her at bay for the last three weeks not knowing her intentions but longing for that "mother" that I have always wanted but will never get. I won't let her see my kids because I don't have time for Social Services, and trying to prove myself as a parent mainly, but her presence ALWAYS means interference. I doubt myself enough without scrutiny from the public. I really don't physically want her in my life...but emotionally I feel as if I am committing a mortal sin by doing so. What is wrong with me? more

Resolved Question: I don't see how it makes me a bleeding heart liberal just because I don't want somebody hunted and killed.?

I did some stupid things at 10. From memory I dropped my pet hamster and didn't realise it could have been hurt (animal abuse). I joined in with school bullies as was just going along with the gang. I shoplifted for which I was arrested for and had a juvenile record. When I think of those things now I feel ashamed and stupid and I know I would never do them again. I don't see how that makes me a bleeding heart liberal just because I want to think that maybe children might do something they would feel ashamed about in adult life and I don't think they should be judged as an adult on something they did as a child and shouldn't have their details in the papers to be hunted down and killed. I was just analysing the facts and trying to work it out in my mind as to how they should be judged and treated now.No but I do now Doughnut so I'm not the same person.I wonder what put those ideas into their mind Jo? more